A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a new boyfriend who I really care about, he's a great guy and makes me genuinely really happy and I have really strong feelings for him, everything between us is fine. But I don't understand why even though I have moved on and I am really happy I am jealous of my ex boyfriend of two years and his current girlfriend and sometimes I even find myself missing him when I see them together, he cheated on me loads of times and I know I don't love him anymore because of the feelings for my new partner. But what is the deal with missing him and being jealous even though we broke up in February because it's eating me alive? :/ Is it even normal?
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female
reader, SweetScorpio83  +, writes (14 August 2010):
This is not a question about whether or not you are over your ex. You are not jealous of your ex and his new gf, you are just insecure. More than likely you are unhappy because you see him and this new girl having a great time and you can't figure out why you guys were not that happy. It forces you to look at yourself and think that there must be something wrong with you. You miss him because you miss the person that he was sometimes, the person you wished he could be all the time, but he wasn't that person and never will be. Some people just are not meant to be together and I am sure that in the back of your mind you probably knew you were not meant to be with him, but you just kept it going because, isn't that what life is "being with someone special".
You need to look into yourself and do something for you. More than likely in a while you are going to be in this same situation with this new dude, who you obviously aren't that into or else you wouldn't even be thinking about the ex. You are still young and if you try hard to learn this now you might make it to college without becoming one of those pathetic girls in shitty relationships crying in the corner at the bar while your friends are having a wicked time. You need to like you, relationships do not make a person, a person makes a relationship and when you learn to be happy with you, and be happy being independent then you will find someone right...but good luck my friend as your generation is so socially detatched/attatched though technology I don't know how anyone stands a chance at achieving self actualization! :P
A
female
reader, SweetScorpio83 +, writes (14 August 2010):
This is not a question about whether or not you are over your ex. You are not jealous of your ex and his new gf, you are just insecure. More than likely you are unhappy because you see him and this new girl having a great time and you can't figure out why you guys were not that happy. It forces you to look at yourself and think that there must be something wrong with you. You miss him because you miss the person that he was sometimes, the person you wished he could be all the time, but he wasn't that person and never will be. Some people just are not meant to be together and I am sure that in the back of your mind you probably knew you were not meant to be with him, but you just kept it going because, isn't that what life is "being with someone special". You need to look into yourself and do something for you. More than likely in a while you are going to be in this same situation with this new dude, who you obviously aren't that into or else you wouldn't even be thinking about the ex. You are still young and if you try hard to learn this now you might make it to college without becoming one of those pathetic girls in shitty relationships crying in the corner at the bar while your friends are having a wicked time. You need to like you, relationships do not make a person, a person makes a relationship and when you learn to be happy with you, and be happy being independent then you will find someone right...but good luck my friend as your generation is so social detatched/attatched though technology I don't know how anyone stands a chance at acheiving self actualization! :P
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): The reason you are jealous of your ex is more than likely because you are not happy with yourself; not because you are not over him. You are jealous of his relationship with this new chick because you don't understand why he could not be that happy with him and think it has something to do with you. The truth is, some people are just not meant to be together and I am sure in the back of your mind you probably always knew that you were not meant to be together but like most people you wanted to be with someone so you just settled. You don't miss him you miss your old life and you miss the person he was sometimes, the person you hoped he could be all the time. But he isn't that person.Now with this new guy, you are more than likely going to be in the same situation you are in with old guy 3 years from now because again, you probably are not completely happy with him or else the ex wouldn't cross your mind. You need to focus on yourself and figure out what you want out of life, because being in a relationship will never define, nor fulfill any kind of emptiness you may feel. I know because I remind myself of that very thing each day!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 August 2010):
You haven't moved on from your ex. Read Zayla's post below. She summed it up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010): You are not happy with your current boyfriend because, you are NOT over your ex. If you were truly over this guy, you wouldn't fill one bit jealous of his new relationship, nor would you miss him. Stop fooling yourself please and spare the time of your current boyfriend so that he may discover who's attention will be on him and not some ex who cheated.
You jumped out of on relationship into another one knowing you were not over this pervious guy. You are emotionally unstable, emotionally hurt and wounded by your ex therefore you should not be in a relationship of any kind until you can work out those issues. And you are so very young, so if you start now, you may just get over this guy and be able to move on with your life.
Yes it is normal to still have feelings for someone even after a break up, but how you handle yourself after the break up is what is important. If you ask me, you are way to young to be dating or even have a boyfriend. If I were your parent, that would be a "no-no." Focus on school and making something out of yourself.
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