A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid ... Im hurting.I wish if you can say something to make me feel better here is my problem, i filed for divorce almost 6 months ago even tho i tried hard to make my marriage work but there were too many issues that cant be solved and Love wasnt there, i wasnt sad to break up with my husband i actually was happy that after years unhappy i was ready to stop wasting my life and try to be happy and maybe find love.i dated couple of guys but nothing serious til i started dating a Romanian guy, i wasnt serious about him either, i just wanted to have fun and he was very hot , funny and wild as me in bed, i told him from the beganing that i dont want him to think he is my boyfriend because he is not he is just the guy im seeing..may be i was selfish, control freak and stubborn to only think about me but i honestly thought well, im pretty, fun and very desired so im not being unfair to him, he gets me and i let him do all the things he wants to me its not like he not getting anything back from our weird relatin.he wanted to get serious with me and even talked about moving in together and here where i thought this is going too far so i kicked him out of my place and insulted him "self defebce mechanism" yet he came back to me even tho i was mean to him infront of my friendsm but he told me he wont be back if i was that bad to him again and once again i did the same thing when it started to get serious between us i kicked him out AGAIN and this time i asked him to come back to me maybe because i felt guilty or i missed him... undecidedlater on i made it clear we arent together as a couple even tho we were spending all our time together day and night then one weekend i went mad and had this after hour party that he wasnt invited to it and i invited all my friends including my ex who still loves me and shared my bed after the party "nothing happened the hiuse was too croudd someone had to stay wv me wether it was my ex or not woudnt change anything"after this night my Romanian boy didnt want to talk to me,he called me all sort of names and refused to even listen to me, he accused me of being a slut even tho no one else had put his fingure on me since we been together, he told me i will never be able to trust you again and stuff like that.because i felt guilty fo having this party and letting my ex stay over i decided to cut all strings with my ex and explain to my boy everything and he came back to me but he was different.he no longer kisses me when he sees me neither he hugs me anymore, he used to really hug me the kind of hugs that makes you feel like weak and he is strong"i loved the way he hugged me" and kissing became a thing.. it no longer have passion to it.he stopped seeing me the way he saw me before, when he looks at me now his eyes doesnt hold love for me not even desire.all my life ive been very arrogant because i know im prettier and sexier than the average good looks, i never thought if the other person i always thought any guy would be happy being with me.but this guy he made me look to the mirror and think whats wrong with me why he not fancy me anymore.yesterday he came over we had amazing sex and he left in the morning, i text him u coming back he said maybe but then i had enough of feeking unwanted from him so i text him whats really wrong and he told me it cant be there anything serious between us u did things i couldnt accept and you made me change my mind about you..i dont know why i cried when i saw this message, i broke up with him now for good but im hurting.why would i be hurting if i didnt love him,why did i do all those things to him if i ever cared??way do i wake up at night and think of him........
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female
reader, raiders  +, writes (28 March 2011):
 You need to learn how to treat people and how to respect their feelings. This guy you were dating had feelings for you and all you did was walk all over him. You acted like this because you probably thought you were better, but to most people looks and appeareance may be what draws them to a person but its their heart and personality what keeps them hook to that person. Inner beauty is gold, unfortunately for you it might be a little to late with this guy, but change your behavior get off your high horse and learn to be humble for future relationships.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): It;s too late. He is better off out. You will end up lonely if you keep treating people this way.
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A
female
reader, lovelyeyes +, writes (28 March 2011):
I do feel bad for u,but u pretty much did need this to wake u up. Just because your not inlove w/him doesn't mean u don't love him as a person and a good friend. That's why I think your hurting so bad. They say u don't know what u have until u lose it. I think that's exactly what is happening here. U lost a great guy. He sounds like 1 of the good ones and u messes it up for yourself. I understand uant a serious relationship,but didn't give u a right to treat him like shit. Now he prob thinks u have no heart. If its hurting u that bad why can't u pick up the phone and apologise again and again until he does forgive u for acting like this. Show him u are not this cold hearted person he thinks u are. What guy would keep coming back to a girl over and over again and he was treated badly infront of people unless he realy cared for u. Don't let a good guy slip away from u. Its realy realy hard to find a guy like that anymore.
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