A
male
age
30-35,
*idlin
writes:I'm 18 years old and I've never had a girlfriend before. I've put myself out there a couple of times already and I got rejected every single time. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. I've only once kissed a girl, and this was a friend proving me a favor a few years back when I was 16.I'm going to be honest I am a bit chubby. But I'm not ugly according to my female friends. They say I have a pretty face (or something?). I'm also known as the funny guy because I always take care of people's moods, and I'm a good person to talk to about problems.However I cannot talk to anyone about my own problems. My friends seem to shallow to understand what I'm going through. I go out in the weekends but I never get to end my evening with a girl. I fall inlove every now and then, but these days I try to suppress / ignore it because there's never a chance in hell I will get me a girlfriend. I'm getting my own mood down, losing self esteem, always being forced to put up a happy pokerface to hide my misery, and I'm incredibly lonely. Soon I'll be off to uni and this is not a happy idea for me. When I see all of my friends having the time of their lives with their girl/boyfriends, I get really sad because I think about what I'm missing out on.I always come across to nice aswell. I'm the *nice guy* and therefor I end up in a place called the *friend zone*.I know there's people out there with my issue. What am I supposed to do? Is there a friend zone? And how do I get out of it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2011): First of all, you are only young, so do not panic just yet! Alot of people don't get their first girlfriend until they are much older than you.You are going to uni soon, which I think is great, this will provide you with so many new opportunites to meet girls and make new friends, think about all the social events that they have at uni, parties, concerts, clubs and activites, and you will be surrounded by heaps of single people your own age! Try and be positive about that and make a promise to yourself that you will be social and put yourself out there. And you wont be in the friend zone because all these people will be new.if people have said you are funny and good looking, this is also positive. You seem very sweet and I am sure you will have no trouble getting a girlfriend if you meet the right people. If you are worried about your looks or your weight, you could always start doing a bit of exercise, or even just a change in clothes? going off to university is also the perfect time to reinvent yourself. It is normal to feel alittle lonely and miserable sometimes, but feeling that way wont really help you. I'm not saying you should fake being happy, but you need to find out what you want to change about yourself and find away to do it. Last bit of advice, there is no such thing as too nice, you shouldn't let people take advantage of you, but girls don't want to date mean people, so don't listen to that nonsense.Good luck with everything!
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