A
male
age
41-50,
*non_e_mouse
writes:What the hell is going on?I met a girl and we were instantly attracted to each other. We gradually got to know each other going out once a week. After about 4 weeks we started spending more and more time together and really opened up to each other. We were like boyfriend and girlfriend we spent so much time together. We could talk about anything and we always had a great time together. We hadn't been intimate until about another month or so had passed and I really thought we were getting somewhere. She had even introduced me to her parents (which she sort of set up) but I was comfortable with it as I did want to be with her and I was happy to go along with it and see where this was going... Were we going to get together or not? All the signs were there.A couple of weeks later we went out one evening and she spent the entire night chatting and flirting with a bunch of blokes she didn't know. Not being officially together I thought there's not a lot can do about it so I just chatted to some old friends I bumped into who happened to be around. This did upset me and as we left we had an argument about it. After I calmed down we shared a taxi as we usually did but this time she wanted me to stay over her place.Next morning she sent me a message saying she's not ready for a relationship and wants to just be friends.I was confused and I explained that although we can stay friends we cannot spend so much time together as I'm ready to settle down and I want to meet someone. We had already talked about this back when we were getting really close (and she was the one who started talking about she want to settle down and have a family).I talked to one of my friends down the local pub about the situation which surprised him as I hadn't told anyone... I'm quite discrete and don't want to air my dirty laundry in public. He told me I should have a chat with her about what I want and if nothing else I will at least get closure.The problem is there is a guy who works down the pub and he's always meddling in other peoples lives and relationships. This girl went down there one evening and I have a feeling he told her a load of rubbish. She sent me an angry message accusing me of going round telling everybody we had slept together. I sent her a message back asking what was said and by who and admitted I had spoken to a friend about "us" as I was confused but in no way was I bragging about it.From here on she refused to let me explain and after a couple of messages I tried to call. She put me through to voicemail and sent me a message saying she doesn't want to talk. I tried to push her into talking to me and told her I want to sort this out right now or forget it. She refused so I thought ok clean-break it is then and I went back to my desk and removed her from Facebook. Just as I signed in the news feed popped up and it said she had changed her status from single to in a relationship 7 minutes ago; while we were texting each other.Even more confused by now so later on in the week I talked to my friend... This time away from the pub and he told me he saw that and 2 hours later she changed it back to single.Why? I don't understand. She's obviously messing me about and playing stupid games.She started to text me again at the end of the week and I thought I might get a chance to see her and talk about it but after a few messages she's been very aloof. She explained she doesn't want a relationship at the moment but needs a good friend with all the enemies she has at present. It was a long message. She also said we can be friends if I can handle it and signed her name as "Twinkle Toes" which was our joke (that's what I called her in private when we were really close). I said I can handle it and although I did fall for her I told her I understand and I'm over it. Which I honestly thought I was. The message gave me some closure.A few days later she texted me being friendly. Next day (Saturday just gone) she sent me a text in the morning and we exchanged some messages. I sent her a message in the evening asking if she would like to go out for a drink with me and some friends and she said she was just going to have an early night.Next day (yesterday) she texted me in the morning first thing. Around lunchtime I asked if she'd like to get a bite to eat for dinner later. With no reply and thinking nothing of it around dinner time I made some alternative arrangements. At about 8pm she reveals she's only just got my message and she's been out since 1pm with Neil. Neil who? I thought ok it's either;It wasn't that she wasn't ready for a relationship it's just that she didn't want one with me (but strung me along) or;She was on a sort of rebound after not having me around anymore.Either way after all these games and feeling I had been strung along I got my head round the fact that nothings going to happen, it's over so I asked her if they would be out later and she said she wouldn't be out as they had had a long day.I went out with my friends to the usual club and who suddeny decides to turn up? I put a brave face on it and said hello to them both (it's a small club) and shook his hand. We chatted very briefly and I made my excuses and spent the rest of the night with my friends having a good time. He's from bloody Newcastle and obviously came down for the bank holiday weekend especially to see her. He was one of her friends on Facebook and perhaps she had arranged to meet him since we backed off and spent no time together anymore (we used to see each other almost every evening).Despite this I had a good night and enjoyed bumping into loads of friends and didn't think about them at all. I went outside to say goodbye to some friends. This girl and Neil walk out and he starts shouting at me as they're walking to the taxi rank and she was sort of pushing/dragging him. Either way I do not understand. And to be honest the thought of her inviting this guy down from Newcastle to spend the bank holiday weekend together makes me feel sick!Everything tells me this is absolutley ridiculous, I'm well shot of her, she strung me along, it's her loss, etc. Perhaps she needs to have a man to make herself feel good about herself? Whatever...I think I'm at that stage right now where I do miss her company... However, I do not want to be with her but I do want to set have my say so I can close the book and move on.
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female
reader, KateLvsS.V.S  +, writes (4 May 2009):
 WOW!!..That was really harsh of her!..I think if she went flirting with these blokes even though u went to that party or disco together..thats really unacceptable!..she went with u as a couple!..i dont think she is worth it!..theres plenty of other girls out there!,
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