A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend, we had the "baby talk" and both decided it was right timing right now, but I've been panicking about the unprotected sex we had. I asked him as we cuddled in bed last night what he wants for us in the future and he said "can we have a baby" it's totally took me by surprise as I thought he didn't want them! he's said if I'm pregnant now he'll be happy and if I'm not he won't mind! I'm so confused, I didn't want another child, but I can't stop hoping that I am! Why a sudden change of mind for us so soon after deciding we didn't want a child!
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (25 May 2013):
 Let me interpret for you....
He said: ".. can we have a baby..." and "...if I'm pregnant now he'll be happy and if I'm not he won't mind" just after you and he had completed unprotected sex.....
Don't you see what he really "said"???? He said NOTHING.
His motive, almost certainly, was to calm you down after the unprotected-sex episode.... so that he wouldn't have to put up with your possible ruminating over what had just happened, for the rest of the evening....
Good luck.....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2013): I really think that people go about unprotected sex way too lightly- as in "it'll probably be negative, if not that's ok- I don't mean to lecture by the way lol, but things are always changing and if its a decision made lightly, you will probably ending up really regretting it. I haven't really had many relationships, I'm 22 but have had sort of broody pangs to really be a mum ( didnt mention it to anyone) but the next day I'm off work or something, I can please myself, do some painting, go off do fun things, see friends, make decisions to go out whenever- and I realise it's just whimsy pipe dreams lol!! we're SO YOUNG LETS have fun!! Lol :D He isnt sure, but even if he is, I think you should really just savour this funkadelic time, you only get your twenties once! :) Take care! Xxx :D
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2013): Why not get married first, buy a house, have some savings and then make a baby? What exactly is the rush at your age, except towards a life of baby daddy's and financial problems? Your not thinking clearly and romantic using having a child together. When asking about the future. He should be answering with example of how he's finished his education, saving towards a ring/wedding and house and planning for a baby in a few years. You are doing things backwards and the hard way!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 May 2013):
 I don't understand. You said you did want a child. And then he wants a child... but at the end you say you didn't want a child? If you don't want a child, why did you have unprotected sex?
Maybe you phrased it wrong, you did decide to have a baby, but now that you are trying for one you're scared of having one. I think it's normal, you're nervous. Having a baby is a big deal, and I think it's natural to be a bit scared. You're taking a big step. But being scared and worried doesn't necessarily mean there is anything to be scared of or worried about. It's just a normal reaction to a big step.
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