A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife had a intense two year long affair with a single friend of ours back 25 years ago...we had tried a threesome with him,after a nite of drinking, and I found out rather quickly that I wasnt into it, but as it worked out my wife and this other guy were, and we never had a threesome again, but my wife and him secretly got together at his place for almost two years...When i finally found out what was going on I asked her to stop, and she did saying she was very sorry and she didnt know what had come over her...naturally from this point on we totally lost contact with this friend...this all happened before we had children, and since then she has been faithfull, and other than the usual static that all married couples have now and then, our marriage has been great.Now my question... Recently him and i saw each other in public, at a distance, but did not talk...since then he contacted me and made some small talk, and said he would like to get together with my wife and I...I heard that he is married now with kids..Remember, this affair happened 25 years ago, but I'm just wondering why after all this time, he wants to meet and talk...Any ideas?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2017): OP, if you know what's good for you, your wife, your kids and your future as a married couple, you will forget you ever saw this man.
He is trying to see if he still has an "IN." There is nothing innocent about his wanting to rekindle this "friendship".
Likely his own marriage has become dull and boring and he's seeking a hit of excitement. And he is testing the waters with you.
Make no mistake. He was never a friend. Not then and certainly not now.
If I were you, I would ignore him and never tell your wife you ran into him. Keep that information in the vault.
Let sleeping dogs lie.
Your marriage survived the infidelity. Why would you tempt fate?
Yeah, he has bad intentions. I have no doubt about it. But you are a step ahead. You know his game and you can put an end to it.
A
male
reader, sleepwalker +, writes (22 April 2017):
I take it that since you forgave your wife, and the fact that you are still married to her 25 years after she betrayed you for 2 years, that she has proven herself trustworthy. Why then chance the risk of reigniting old passions between your wife and her former lover by admitting him back into your lives? Why tempt her to betray you once more?
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (22 April 2017):
The question you need to ask yourself is why you would consider having anything to do with this backstabbing douche. But really what would you get out of having any contact with a the man who helped your wife cuckold you for two years? Going to relive the good times you had together?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2017): People want to be relevant. That's usually the motivation and which he clearly was in you and your wife's married life 25 years ago. Curiosity killed the cat. Resist this one, good sir.
M
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2017): Getting together doesnt necessarily imply talking! After all he thinks you and your wife are the best thing in swinging history.Perhaps he wants to take a walk down nostalgia road and has his condoms packed and ready or maybe he wants to laugh at the crazy antics of your youth.But you have moved on mentally and emotionally and have no reason to want to rock your happy boat with him!He may admire you and think you are the most amazing pragmatic man on earth but really you can do without this drama so I agree that firmly shutting the door in his face is probably the wisest thing to do!I agree with Honey Pie on this.And Bim bim.A quick lock off on social media and otherwise would give him the very clear indication that you want him to shove off and allow what was in the past to rest most firmly in the past.This is no time for mixed messages with him or your wife.Youve had a very happy 25 years and I wish you 25 more happy years without his input!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 April 2017):
 I agree with Auntie BimBim,
Don't care what HIS motives are, either you WANT to meet up with him or you don't. If you don't just delete/block contact info and move on.
I wouldn't trust this guy any further than I could toss him, not even after 25 years.
Is there really ANY point in making his acquaintance again?
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (22 April 2017):
 It doesn't really matter what his reasons are ... what matters is how you feel about it. Would YOU be happy for the friendship to be rekindled? Would having him back in your lives add anything positive?
Personally I wouldn't be able to get past the fact he was a friend who had no problem sleeping with your wife behind your back .... and while your marriage has survived I cant see any good reason to have him back in your lives. Can you?
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