A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've asked my friends about this, but the only advice they give me is along the lines of "of course he likes you, all men do" which really doesn't help me. How can you tell the difference between a guy who has genuine feelings for you and one who just finds you attractive? Guys seem to assume I'm everything they ever wanted soon after meeting me without bothering to find out if it's true until much later, then I end up getting hurt. There's someone I've liked for the last 6 months and I think he's different but I need an unbiased opinion. On the plus side, he isn't trying to rush us into a serious relationship so I'm hoping that means he wants to take the time to get to know me first. But on the other hand, he seems to think everything about me is wonderful - like I'm so beautiful, smart, funny and he even goes on about my singing and dancing talent, when in fact I'm tone deaf and have 2 left feet! So should I take that as an indication that he isn't really seeing me as I am or am I just being overly sensitive because of bad experiences in the past? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): If he's willing to date you, be exclusive, and is seriously committed to you, you know he has genuine feelings. Also if he SAYS he has feelings for you, its more likely that he has feelings, than if he says "you're hot". You know?
A guy who just finds you attractive wont be there for you when you need him, wont be there to hang out with you just to enjoy your company.
If you are uncertain abuot the genuinity of men, I suggest you tell a white lie at the beginning just to test them until you are sure. Say something like "you wont have sex until you are married". See who's there for you for a second date after that!
PS. dont keep up a lie for a long period! If a guy shows to you that he's okay with your decision to not have sex until marriage, it shows that he's not in it for your body. And this was just to give you an idea of what measures you can take.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): I think it takes time to really get to know someone and their true character. I actually heard and tend to believe that on average it takes about a year and a half to really know the answers you seek about someone.
So time will tell. If he is spending time with you and he isn't pressuring you for something you aren't ready for, then I would say he has genuine feelings for you.
Do you really know him well enough to know you won't end up getting hurt? No. There are no guarantees in love and that is why we have to take a leap and take a risk to find out if what we have is with a person who is worthy of our love. If you can know what he is about, get to know his friends and family, then you will have a good idea of what he is about earlier than later. Trust your instincts, they are usually never wrong.
...............................
|
