A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my fiance for just over 6 and a half years now, we got engaged a year and a half ago, my whole family love him. we went through a rough patch a few monthes ago where my mum thought i was cheating on him with my best friend, but i wasn't. but now he can't seem to shake it, we dont seem to do anything anymore, we dont sleep together (mainly because i dont want to) we dont talk anymore etc which is making me fell like i'm falling out of love with him. he seems to be pushing me away more and more, and i dont get that warm feeling i used to when i look at him, we live together in my parents house but we were planning to buy a house. i have seeked advice from my friend, and i think i have fallen in love with him. i have known him since i was little and have had feelings for him before, i mean we love spending time together always laughing and stuff and he's amazing with kids, the type of father i'd want for my kids. i dont know what to do though, because my mum thought we were having an affair toghether she hates him. but now ive been pushed to him and we have fallen for each other. i just dont know what to do, if i split with my fiance my mum will be devistated and would she accept my friend? i've been in such a state before where i just wanted my life to end bacause i dont know what to do and i thought it would be easier on everyone. please can someone help me?!
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affair, best friend, engaged, fiance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): thank you for your replies. rcn i dont have any kids yet, but i want them and i would love my frind to be the father of them.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (26 June 2009):
 Who is the father of your kids? If he's active with your children, you can't just replace his position as father. You're done working on or attempting to have a good relationship with your fiance. If you stay with him, what would change? It seems as if you've kept your distance too. You can't expect positive change in your relationship, if you're not part of the effort to change.
Those warm feelings are gone, because you've entered this state of confusion. You don't know what you want, and until you know for sure you'll remain confused. You need to be honest with yourself, then be honest with your fiance and your friend. If you decide to stay with your fiance, you can't improve the relationship until you've decided that's what you want. You won't have a good relationship with your fiend "as more than friends" until you know for sure that decision in right.
As far as your end comment. Ending it to be easier for everyone. Look at your kids, and then tell me that's a true statement. Don't focus your life around your mom, fiance, or friend. It's your life and you need to benefit yourself before you can consider being a benefit for someone else. If you do it opposite of that, you end up being dependent, and not independent. That's not a good place to be, even in the light of being the best parent you can be for your children.
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A
female
reader, Baby619 +, writes (26 June 2009):
 Okay im young but i know somethings....i have a best friend and he is a guy. i also have a boyfriend who thinks something is going on between us.
If you are havinfun with your friend and nothings going right with your fiance the i would break it off with him. you need to think of your self first and what makes you happy. dont worry about your mother or anyone else and what they think.
they are not the ones that are going to keep u happy and warm at night. there is a reason for everything maybe you didnt get married yet because it wasnt ment for you to get married to the guy. maybe you should just be with your friend... after all he knows you better then anyone else knows you so thats a bonus!!!!!!!!!11
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A
female
reader, Hannan  +, writes (26 June 2009):
Tk some time out.Stay away from both 4 now.Think clearly b4 u decide.
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