A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok.. to start from the beginning.. my friend and his wife moved back to where i live.. they had a hard time getting along and end up seperating.. soon after i start to date his ex wife (not divorced but separated) and everything was fine except for the fact that my friend hated me.. then nine months into the relationship on my bday i asked the wrong question.. do i get sex on my bday.. dumb move.. she denies me and gets mad and goes to bed... so i start to talk to people on xbox live about the situation and they tell me thats just wrong she didn't.. but what do they know.. i was an a** for asking... then soon after she comes out of the bedroom and tells me to talk lower cause i'll wake the baby... i say ok and keep talking but lower.. again she comes out... i turn off the console and go to bed... she tells me she heard me and we get physical... i grab her and turn her around first.. I tell her i want to talk about it... she slaps me for grabbing her... i push her down with the baby in her hands (she doesn't get hurt.. thank god) and she leaves after hitting me again.. at first i feel she was wrong then i realize how wrong it was for me to grab her in the first place.. while she has left i talk to my mom over the next couple days and she was glad she left and that i was not wrong for what i did but not right either... after begging my gf to return she does days later... now my mom hates her and says to send my gf away or lose my mom and my sister.. she thinks what im doing with her is wrong since she is still married and wants me to leave her or i cant talk to my mom ever again... but i love her and am working on my problems by going to aa... what do i do... leave my mom or my girlfriend... i love my gf a great deal and don't want to leave her.. i think i messed up.. why the sudden hate.. she is real religious by the way.. can i get her not to hurt my gf feelings.. i hate this!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk i decided to stay with her and we have been alright... i admitted what i did was wrong and haven't drank since that time... i feel bad... i tried to call her this morning to see if she was awake for work... after a while of her not answering i asked my boss if i could leave for ten minutes or so and he said yes... i went to the house to wake her and on the way i called again b4 i got there and she answered... she said she was getting ready and thats why she didn't answer... so i tell her i was on the way to wake her and then she gets mad and hangs up on me... i go to the house anyways cause she hung up on me... she is pissed at me and i try to tell her most people would appreciate a wake up call... why is she mad?... then she leaves the house and gets in her car... i leave the door open to attempt to talk to her and she attempts to leave with the door open and she hits the door against a fence on the way out and almost breaks the door off... i get upset and finally i close the door(with much effort) cause she will be late if she doesn't leave now... she gets on the road and doesn't answer my calls... so i take off after her hoping to talk to her on the road and she just blasts her music... i want to get her to talk to me... she is always avoiding me and gets annoyed when i touch her... what is wrong with this girl!!!!!
A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (10 March 2010):
 Ok - you are a young man and this girl is messing with your head and heart - here is what happened. This girl hooked you with sex in the beginning which you mistook as love. BTW - sex is the only thing she really has to offer. So now she is using it as a power tool against you. Understand - she has what you want and she knows this and is attempting to control you with it. In a real love relationship you do not have to "ask" for sex whether it's your birthday or not. As I said this girl is real trouble. Remove her from your life. Listen to your mom.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice to answer Auntie E my mom is the religious one and that's why she thinks what we are doing is wrong... and my girlfriend was upset cause frankly i ask a lot for sex cause i rarely get it but that is wrong of me... but i would think it would be alright to ask on my birthday at least... i wish i knew why she didn't want to have sex but she always says she is just not that into it... but she was in the beginning
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 It is your life and only you can decide who to chose.It is very unfortunate that you do not have a choice and must chose either her or your mom.
If you love her(g/f) greatly and think that you can work out your problems with her,then you should chose her over your mom.
In time , if everything works out fine , your mom may come to accept the inevitable.
Even if your relationship with your g/f breaks down , your mom would still accept you back.
Remember, no one can chose which way you want to go.You are the captain of your own ship.
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A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (9 March 2010):
Ok - she's "real religious" but she has a baby, is still married and she moved in with you? Explain that please. Frankly I don't see a problem with asking about sex on your birthday. Ask yourself this - why did she? This has nothing to do with your mom and her disapproval of your girlfriend - even though your mom can probably see what the problem is because of her life experience so far. This girl is big trouble. She will interfere with your sobriety if she hasn't already. Call your AA sponsor about this now.
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