A
female
age
30-35,
*idsummer
writes:My bf and I are living together, and I just got a job. MY Mother was helping with the expenses until now. I will be making 25,000 a year which is 2,083 a month. And my bf makes 40,000 a year. He wants to split all the expenses in half, but I wouldn't have much left over and he would. He said I should be added to his account in the bank, and we could have our money combined. But I'm not sure if that is a good idea, because we are not even married and we have only been dating for 7 months. Should I pay equal, or should he pay a little more?Thanks
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female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (19 March 2016):
 I see it this way, it is a fairly new relationship therefore I think 50/50 is fair. Sucks because yes he might earn more but if he was not anything else but a flat mate then it would be expected that both of you would share things equally. But I think you should have a say and be firm in what it is you are prepared to pay for. For example: he is happy to pay $1000/ week rent to live in some hip joint in the city because he can afford to pay his half of $500 whereas you can only afford to pay $250 of a $500/week joint somewhere else. He cant expect you to live on a champagne budget when all you can afford is beer.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (18 March 2016):
 I thought your agreement before you even moved in was that he would pay the rent and you would pay for food and utilities. Has that changed?
Like the others I strongly recommend you NOT share a joint bank account. Couples I know of who get on very well have separate accounts. If you two parts ways, and I'll be honest I don't see this relationship standing the test of time, it will be that much harder when your finances are mixed up together.
I would also keep some kind of proof of the bills you've been paying so if things do turn sour, you can show you lived up to your end of the bargain.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 March 2016):
 Hi again, Midsummer, this is the negative and weird boyfriend from this post, http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-negative-and-weird-boyfriend-makes-me-wonder.html correct?
All this should have been sorted before you moved in together. How did that discussion with him go? What did you decide, BEFORE you moved in together? If you agreed to paying half then, then you pay half.
If you agreed to paying for the utilities and food, and he the rent, then you each pay the agreed upon split.
Do not mingle finances with this man as it’s clear you don’t trust each other enough nor have a stable mature relationship with clear lines of communication, understanding and mutual respect.
I’d advise paying till the end of the lease and then you move out, finding roommates or move back in with your mother.
With roommates, all the expenses and rules and regulations of the living space would be agreed upon beforehand, so every one know what is expected of them.
I go back to you and your boyfriend, you chose to live together, so you must have agreed upon some conditions and payment split PRIOR to signing that lease.
What did you agree to before you moved in?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (18 March 2016):
 DON'T co-mingle funds until/unless you and he are married.......
Pay to rent and utilities in proportion to your incomes... that's fair....
If you and he can't work out this - "business" - arrangement... imagine what might happen if you and he were married.... Think twice.... think long... and watch out for YOURSELF first!!!
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 March 2016):
 Who is on the lease?
Who is on the bills? (utility)
If you are BOTH on the lease, then you SHARE the expenses of rent.
If HE is only on the lease, then I'd consider that you shouldn't pay 50% of the rent as it is HIS place and he would pay rent regardless of you living there or not. Doesn't mean you can't pay PART of the rent.
I would NOT have a shared account. NO WAY in Hades. Specially not as you two are not doing all that great over all with the relationship (yes I have read your other posts).
If you put your money in HIS account, guess who gets the interest? Guess who IMPROVES his credit rating? Guess who has control of ALL the money? *hint* not you!
What you CAN do is TRANSFER your share to HIS bank and HE pays the bills or vice verse. That way there is a "paper-trail" of the money and no one can claim " I pay for everything" or I didn't have money for the bills.
I think you two made a huge mistake moving in together as fast as you did and with the financial situation as it was and now is. ALL these questions you are asking DC, should have been talked OVER between you two and AGREED upon before moving in together. Right now he got you by the short hairs.
SIT DOWN and make a budget for yourself. HOW much can you actually afford to pay for rent/utilities/food/clothes/transportation/insurance etc.
Then sit down and make a budget with him. See if you two can make it work OR not.
YOU don't think it's fair that you should pay 50% as you make almost half his income. He thinks it's fair that you pay 50% no matter your income. SO... Is there room for compromising here? Or not.
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