A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have this guy friend that I’ve been knowing for almost a year now, we’ve been involved intimately at one point, pretty much on and off. We both have feelings for each other. We recently started conversing again and hung out. We’re both still single but pretty much exploring our options. The thing is when we hung out we ended up having sex. Before the sex took place we had a deep conversation about where we are right now, I made it clear that I am involved with someone else but I still don’t want a relationship with anyone right now. He asked me if I would be open to giving us another try (by this I think he means talking/dating) I told him I needed time to think about it because we’re friends and in a good place. After the sex he told me he enjoyed it and that I’m welcomed back whenever. He tried to walk me out to my car and even texted me to make sure I got home safely. The tricky part is, we haven’t been texting or talking as much lately. I know whenever we do text I take hours to respond and I’m kinda dry. He never texts me first anymore but if I text him he’ll respond immediately, he still watches my social media everyday even though I don’t watch his. My question is, does he not wanna be bothered with me anymore or is it because I made it clear that I pretty much see him as a friend only? P.S. He’s very prideful, he has a very hard time expressing his feelings, I know it took a lot for him to ask about us, could he maybe feel like I shot him down and I'm not that interested in him? Should I reach out and text him?
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (18 June 2018):
 What are you even trying to say here?
This couldn’t be any more confusing. You have feeling for each other, but you’re both single. Then a few sentences later you say you’re with someone but don’t want a relationship.
So what is it? Are you single or not? Do you have feelings for this guy or not? You definitely HAVE NOT been clear with this guy. I couldn’t work out the situation at all so no doubt this dude can either.
How can you have feelings for someone and then only see them as a friend? You really need to make your mind up. It’s pretty obvious this guy likes you as he wouldn’t of been asking the situation in the first place, if you see him as a friend then why are you sleeping with him?
You need to clear up this post, it makes no sense to me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2018): Do you feel anything for this guy; or is it just being friends with benefits?
I think you should take sex out of the equation; and decide exactly what's going on. If you aren't interested in a relationship; maybe he is. You shouldn't mess around with his feelings; unless you're both on the same page. You're trying to pry the words out of him as to what he wants.
Decide what you want, and make some kind of adult-decision.
He tries to make a connection, and you back-off. It's difficult to tell when you're giving him free sex. He could only be making sure you don't find somebody else and shut him off.
If you stop having sex, and you feel some emotional connection aside from your hormones; then decide what to do next.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 June 2018):
 I think it comes down to two things.
1. what do YOU want (from him)
2. what is realistic.
I think if this guy wants MORE than you do, you need to let him go so he can find someone who WANTS him back.
I think his approach is that of a "if you JUST keep trying a no will turn into a yes". Which isn't realistic. IF you are not interested, you are not interested.
BUT.... you DO need to stop pretending you two are friends. You are not. He wants more. Which means this can't be a friendship and he is ACCEPTING that friendships)with a little sex tossed in here and there) is all you are willing to offer. Don't string him along.
I see so many young women IGNORING that the guy is really really interested and pretend that "OH we are just friends". No, you have to consider his feelings too. And if HE can not stick to a platonic friendship then you need to let him go.
It might be "convenient" for you to have this guy who is seriously crushing on you and and having sex with you here and there but - how would you feel if YOU were the one head over heels for a guy who then just used you for sex and entertainment?
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (17 June 2018):
 'I made it clear that I am involved with someone else but I still don’t want a relationship with anyone right now'
I'm guessing what you meant to say is you are NOT involved with someone else?
What would you reach out and text him for? To say what?
Before trying to guess what HE wants, what is it YOU want? Are you interested in him for a relationship or just as a friend with the occasional sex? Or just as a friend with no sex?
Be clear with yourself first then you can be clear with him.
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