A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:When a girl is saying inappropiate sexual type comments to your bf, who is responsible? The girl, or is your bf responsible for standing up to her and making sure the boundaries are clear?My bf dosesnt see himself as having any responsibily in these types of situations and says he cant help what girls say to him. He says its not his fault, he has no control. I understand he cant have 100% control over what girls say to him, but I feel he does have SOME level of influence, for example by either leading or not leading the girl on, and by letting her know that you dont think her behaviour is appropiate. Ive tried telling my bf this, but he just tells me my feelings are invalid. I would just like him to tell girls when they say things to him like that, that its not ok and that he has a gf and ask them to please stop it. He can say it in a polite way and if thye get angry about it, well then they obviously arent very good people if they cant respect him being assertive. Ive asked my bf to do this, but he wont. It worries me when he goes to parties without me because if these girls will act like that in front of me, imagine what they would do behind my back and what what point does my bf draw the line and say "no"? Ive tried talking to these girls, but they just make fun of me and disrespect me. I feel it needs to come from my bf. Any advice? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 January 2010):
Well, he can't control what they say, but he could at least reassure you, which he's not doing. The truth is he loves the comments because they make him feel good. If he's telling you your feelings are invalid, then maybe he just doesn't quite care about you enough.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 January 2010):
My advice is to tell him again and when he says your feelings are invalid, then tell him "well that just means you don't care about me in the way a good boyfriend would do. That's not good enough for me."
Dump him on the spot and walk away.
If he wants to come after you and compromise and start caring about if he hurts you or not, then brilliant.
If he doesn't then you know he was a waste of your time anyway.
It's much better to be single than with a man who doesn't respect you.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
|
