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female
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*eavens7thstar
writes: I was thinking about leaving my bum of a boyfriend to be back with my successful ex. But there's a few problems. I'm in love with my current boyfriend. I know I'd have a hard future with him becuase he won't do anything with his life even though I have tried to motivate him. But our personalities click perfectly. On the other hand if I went back to my ex I would have an amazing future. I Still love and care about him. But I'm not physicaly attracted to him anymore. And we disagree on alot of things but we get along. So here I am at a dead end. I really don't want to choose but I know I have to. And I know I want one of them and no one else... But wich one? Which one would you go to in my situation? Thanks to all who answer!
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male
reader, Dr. Reality Check  +, writes (29 June 2006):
 Why do you have to pick either of them. The successful guy doesnt do it for you, and the bum will hardly make a good husband or father will he? Go out and find someone who has the whole package rather than settling for half of what you want.
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (29 June 2006):
 You seem to be an appendage to either one boyfriend or the other, but real life requires you to be responsible for your own success or failure.
I recommend that you don't "choose" either right now. I suggest that you make a break from both -- the "bum" will eventually drive you nuts with his lack of motivation, and you'll get bored when your ex doesn't tickle your fancy any more -- and learn to live with and love yourself, first. Every person on the planet needs that as a basis, before embarking on any relationship.
From what you've written, you appear to be a passive observer of your life, and seem to be leaning heavily on your boyfriend to support you. Nooooo! Get out, get single for a while. Find a place where you can pay your own bills, cook just for yourself and not be reliant on someone else. When you've become accustomed to taking care of your own needs and when you're comfortable with your own company, then you'll be in a perfect position to find a relationship that suits you better than either of these two.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2006): You've already answered the question for yourself, you love the man your with. Clearly you care for him more than your ex, and just because your ex is successful... that's no reason for you to get back with him. You obviously broke up with him for a reason, right? If you love the man your with then it shouldn't matter what you life is like, as long as you are happy together! :)
Good Luck Hun
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