A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, so here's my problem. I've been dating this guy for a month now who i'd had a crush on for 5 months before we started dating. It's been really great but now i've moved back to college which is about two hours away. I know its not that far of a distance. But now that we dont see each other nearly as often i think my feelings for him have become much less, and ive started to notice little differences between us that im afraid may grow into something bigger and worse. However, things were all great back when we got to see each other every day. And my family loves him and he loves my family.Except, now i met this other guy at my college. We hit it off right away, and after only a few days I feel like ive known him forever, and we talk about stuff i dont usually talk about with many people. We have a lot of chemistry, and i can tell he is interested in me. I told him i have a boyfriend because i wanted to be honest, but i told him there were some big problems in my relationship and that it might end soon. he was clearly disappointed that i have a boyfriend, but other than that it didnt change anything. I can't stop thinking about him. I know the long distance thing is hard, and if my heart is not totally in it i am wondering if it is worth continuing. I just keep remembering how great my relationship was when we were actually together all the time, and it seems to make such good sense being with him because of how well he gets along with my family and everything.On the other hand, the guy at my college excites me so much more, and when i'm with him i keep thinking of how i wish my boyfriend was more like him, or that he was my boyfriend!so: should i stick with my boyfriend and try to suppress my feelings for the new guy even though things are cooling off? or should i break up with my boyfriend and pursue the new guy? its just that breaking up with my current boyfriend would be so hard, especially considering his connection with my family. he is a good guy, but our relationship lacks the excitement and connection i have with this new guy. so i just dont know if its worth it to end things and pursue this new guy. and yet i dont want to lose him or miss out on something that could be really wonderful. what should i do? any thoughts?thank you!
View related questions:
crush, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 September 2009):
Simply put, if at one month into your relationship, you're already having doubts, then you'd be better to end it. Be prepared though, that this other guy may not be interested (though it sounds as if he is). You're still young, and there are other guys out there. But if you're already fancying another guy one month into a relationship, then the relationship isn't gooing to work out. Set him free to find someone else, and you try with this guy.
|
