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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem..I am 20 yrs old and have two boys who are very interested in me and I can't decide which of them I like more. On the one hand, there is a 24 year old who is very sweet, a little full of himself, who pays me a lot of attention and has made it clear he likes me, but says he does not want a commitment and he is not at all the type I would usually go for. Then on the other hand, there is this 16 year old boy (I know that sounds really young, but he's a lot more mature than his age and I'm not a person who judges by age) who is very good looking and a really nice guy, exactly the type I would go for except that he is trying to put on a bit of a "bad boy" image, but although I know he likes me, he doesn't pay me much attention. I know he would go into a relationship eventually (he has told me), but now he is keeping distance - is he trying to play it cool? Should I go for the 24 year old who doesn't want a commitment or the 16 year old who is being a bit distant. I know the sensible thing to do maybe would be to stay away from both of them and find someone else, but I really like them, especially the 16 year old, and my foolish heart won't let me walk away. Is there anyone who can give me any sensible advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): I would respond to your question with a question... are you sure that you aren't just interested in the distant 16 year old because he is unavailable? you know he's too young for you (taboo), he's acting distant (which always intrigues us) so I would say imagine if you actually got involved with him? What would it be like? Would you really be having a good time? or would you get bored of the immaturity of a 16 yo boy in 5 minutes? I say date the 24 year old, have fun, and keep on the look-out for somebody who is both mature and interested in you and a committment, if that's what you want.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): Love Friend Tom's answer, he is right on the money as usual.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice given. although i can say "friend tom" - you are wrong in thinking that all i want is fun, but maybe you are right in thinking that i will not get what i need from either of these boys. hugs2muchgal, thanks for your detailed reply and i take your advice very much to heart. and thank you also just-ask-xx. your advice is very sensible and now it will just be upon me to act upon it. of course my better judgement has been whispering similar things in my ear all this time, but now it has been backed up by your advice, hopefully i will be able to do the right thing. i will keep you updated. thanks again. xx
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female
reader, just-ask-xx  +, writes (6 October 2007):
 I would say neither, if the 16 year old is trying to be a 'bad boy' then I wouldn't really say he was mature and I agree with 'hugs2muchgal' he is probably just trying to pull an older woman to impress people and the 24 year old isn't ready for a committed realationship and if that's what ou're looking for, forget him too. Look for someone else! Someone who is worth your time and effort :) reply if you want to, love just-ask-xx
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female
reader, hugs2muchgal  +, writes (6 October 2007):
 Walking away from both is the sensible advice. Either way, eventhough the two boys are only ffour years apart from you, are both in very different parts of their lives.
The 16 year old is a highschooler, and trust me, most teenage boys obsess with things like being "cool" and you've said he is trying to do a bad boy thing. More than likely he just wants to prove to his friends he can get an older woman (no offense to you at all, he may like you, but there is a chance of ulterior motive) and you say he doesn't pay you attention. Doesn't sound like a good guy to me.
The 24 year old sounds like the better choice BUT he said flat out he isn't looking for anything serious. If you're okay with a fling esque relationship, go for the 24 year old.
Either way you are with someone who isn't commitment minded. At least you should go for the one who'll pay you attention and be able to take you out on dates, real ones without a curfew. The 16 year old would have parents, curfews, lack of money issues and more than likely, no car. Go for someone who could show you a fun time without extra hassle, someone who'll treat you nicely.
Honestly, I say neither, but if you have to at least try with one, the 24 year old is far more sensible.
Good luck,
Hugs
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): Sure. I will give you advice. You may or may not accept it. You are not looking for a "relationship",...you are looking for fun. You are asking us to tell you who will be the most "fun",...for a while. We don't do that here,...at least we are not supposed to. I would definitely advise you to leave the sixteen year old alone. He probably has enough problems as is, and I don't think you are the one to help him with any of them. If you want a good time, the twenty-four year old is your best bet. He isn't looking for a commitment, and niether are you. And you have less chance of being taken to court by his parents.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): Go for the 24 year old.
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