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While I was away, her old ex seems to have moved in...

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 November 2005) 1 Answers - (Newest, 17 November 2005)
A male , *ananaz writes:

Hi all,

I've been in a serious relationship with someone for 5 years now and we were talking about moving back to the southeast. Well I got a job back there and she couldn't move yet because of her job and we couldn't afford to move all our things.

I took what I could carry and made the trip back so I could start working. Three weeks after being back my "heart started hurting" and I felt like she was getting ready to break up with me. I asked about it and she said she wanted to be alone for a while and "find herself".

Well she got transferred back and started another job and I still had to get some stuff of mine from her she brought it to me and we talked and she asked me if I would still take her back and I said yes. She said she wanted to be married and I did too, but she said she needed some more time alone though to fix some things she needed to work out. We ended up sleeping together when she was here and she left to go back to where she lived and worked at.

We were still going through the break-up as planned just in case she changed her mind about everything, so I went up one day to get the rest of my stuff and take back with me.

While I was there she was having company come down from the west coast that made me uneasy because it was someone she worked with that I feel overstepped their bounds as a friend and made me uneasy. She told him to stay in a hotel while I was there in town. Wwhile I was there we had sex again and told each other how much we loved each other, but while I was there I saw certain things that were out of place. She had movies in the house that I knew she wouldn't watch and I think I got too suspicious of things so she went to work the next morning and I felt compelled to look around the apartment to try and satisfy my curiosity (yes I snooped) unfortunately.

I found a piece of a computer that I felt was the guy that was supposedly just visiting and I started thinking that the guy from the west was living there and she made him leave while I was in town. When I asked her about everything she said that he did not live there he and another girl were to fly in and visit the east coast. She did tell me that she had a guy that has been friends with her for twenty years and they dated along time ago and he just came along at a bad time in her life that has been in the back of her mind and I don't know if he was coming on to her or not in their e-mails to each other.

She said she would give me an answer by the end of the month on what she is going to do. Does anyone think that the guy is living there? And does anyone think that we will get back together? Will I be better off without her? Is she lying to me to see if the guy that may be living there is going to work out for her and just keep me on the hook just in case? I have never doubted her before. Are my instincts wrong? Could I be overexaggerating the situation? My gut feeling is telling me there is more to it than it seems.

Please help. My heart can't take much more.

View related questions: get back together, moved in

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2005):

Magic 8-ball says..... how the hell do we know.

But in a long post you didnt cite a lot of good qualities for the girl. Is she really offering you something positive or is this just you dont want to lose out to another guy??

I think you ought to start seeing other people regardless of whether she is seeing the dude. There is really no point in being Quincy and trying to chase down proof- I just dont think you are that into her....

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