A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i got involved with a guy on a purly physical bases, we where both very attracted to each other and i was in a long term relationship that i have no intention of leaving. i know its not ideal but we both were in tune and understanding of the situation. for a year it was great and at the start he said it was good for him as he didnt want a relationship again after being hurt before, now when i see him he bitches that i dont feel anything for him, hardly ever contact him, we never did have much contact, just a text of when we could get together and now he says that hes just my erm, sex toy, very unsure how to field that comment as i thought we had an arrangement that worked for us both and both where totally understanding of it. trying to keep more in touch with him now but wonder if im making things worse, he says he accepts things as they are and always were but he still makes comments that he doesnt like certain things and gets jealous. i feel a little aggrieved as i have kept my end of the deal so to speak
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008): i never gave mixed signals, never mentioned love, i often said if he has met sum1 to let me know and id take a back seat untill he knew if it was working, encouraged him to join a date site. i want him 2 be happy, lifes so short, we had nice times together, i really like him but i cant and wont change my situation.
A
male
reader, Bronze  +, writes (15 September 2008):
Regardless of whatever agreement you two may have, one developing feelings for the other is a common thing in these types of relationships. Think about it, you've been sleeping together for a year. On top of that, you're encouraging it by contacting him more than usual. You had to see this coming.
Having a "Friends with Benefits" relationship is risky business and not always a good idea. In your case, you're putting your relationship with your boyfriend in jeopardy. What's to say this guy won't have some sort of fit of jealously and do something to ruin your relationship?
If you really don't want to bring that kind of trouble into your life, then you and your friend need to go your separate ways soon.
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (14 September 2008):
 This is the reason why some people say Friends w/benefit relationships never work. Someone always gets hurt because one person will eventually develop feelings and the other won't.
It did work for a while, but now that he's hinting more, than i think it's time to end the FWB arrangement.
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