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female
,
anonymous
writes: Im in a bit of a dilemma at the moment. Ive dated lots of men from dating sites since the separation with my ex husband but ive been let down by nearly all of them in one way or another, so ive always had to keep my options open. Now I have 3 men who are really intersted in me but it's hard to know whether to choose one of them and let the others go but which one I just don't know. I have 4 children, so he has to like kids although they are not babies anymore, youngest one is 10.M is the one I have dated the most and is the one who reguarly texts and rings me which is lovely, we both are very attracted to one another but he has only been separated from his wife since Jan this year , although there marriage hasn't been right for 2 years. He is ex army and i wonder if he maybe a bit strict with the children, it's hard to say, he comes across as a bit serious aswell but I am deeply attracted to him and he is me and he talks about the future with me.George lives nearer to me and again I find him deeply attractive, with him he is laid back, happy funny, we laugh together, but I don't know what his intentions are, he does want to get intermitte in a sexual way but I don't really know if he wants a serious relationship or commitment of children. He also only texts me once a week.Mick I have only met three times, he agrees with me how to bring children up which is a bonus. We do like each other and find each other attractiv. He also seems very happy go lucky. Mick rings about once a week.Do I keep my options open and not put all my eggs in one basket? but at the same time I don't want to two time as if M found out I doubt he'd want to see me again as his wife cheated on him and he was with her 22 years, and he is the one who rings me and go's out of his way to chase me which is wonderful. Have you any suggestionbs on how I can deal with this situation, please help im in a right old dillemma. Thankyou.
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female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (22 June 2006):
 I was in the same boat - I had met M last July and tho he is 11 yrs younger than me, and rarely contacted me, I really liked him and got to know and like him a lot.Well, even now, he keeps popping up', sending me funny text messages and phoning me just when I think he has lost interest..He shares the same love of life, interests and sense of humour as me and spoilt me rotten when he took 2 days off work to travel 180 miles to come and see me. But he does seem to be a bit of a 'player.!!Now, D is much more serious about the relationship, phones me every evening and texting me most days. I met him online in October, a couple of months after M - when I thought M had 'gone off'!! - (such is online dating, like going in a shop for a packet of smarties and WOW! - Look at all these SWEETIES!!!!)So there I was just 2 weeks into getting to know D - nice, dependable, though I was not in any way physically attracted to him, just the best guy for me really, but I didn't know if I would ever be physically interested in him....Cue M, out of the woodwork, fresh back from the U.S.A. where (he says) he has been nursing his mum back to health after a serious accident - but full of apologies and would I meet him for a meal as he was over my way on business, and wanted to catch up?What is a girl to do in such a situation??(Yep, I went to see him!)- mistake!!Here and now, D has won me over, and could not be a better partner for me; in fact I now find him irresistable, he is well travelled and interesting, which I find a turn-on in itself, so yes, I am physically attracted to him, and we will be moving in together at the end of this year...As for M, yes, he still texts me, but we just have a few laughs over a few text messages and had lunch a couple of times when he was in the area, so no probs!!So the moral of the story is, go with your instincts, choose the one who looks after you...you are not necessarily choosing a life partner. Tell the other ones that at the mo you are seeing someone, but if it does'nt work out, perhaps you can contact them - you will learn a lot from their responses too, about how understanding they are, which will clarify things..Best of luck
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