A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Which is the best choice for the future of my relationship?I've seen similar questions asked on here, and decided to post b/c of my situation. I regretebly cheated on my long term girlfriend. I now know it was a horrible mistake. She's the woman I want to marry; without a doubt. I am wondering what is going to be the best option for me with regard to my future wife and I having a healthy relationship. Should I tell her about the cheating, and pray that we can work it out and that we get closer as a result. We both value honesty, and am wondering if telling her is going to be the healthiest option for the two of us and for our future (not denying that it might be hell for a while as we work things out). Or do I not tell her and keep it a secret "forever?" Will not telling her have negative effects in our relationship for the two of us in the long term (exluding the obvious ... which is if she finds out at a much later date and is hurt by the betrayal of the cheating and secret). I and the other woman are the only people that know. And I'm pretty certain that she will never tell her..she doesn't know her and is out of my life. I really want to hear people's opinions about the pros/cons of either option. I am going through hell right now, b/c like I said, she's the woman I want to marry and will be proposing to...Thanks. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): You both value honesty? How so? You cheated on her, that's about as DIShonest as you can get. I really have a big problem with people on this site who say they love and care about their bf/gf so much bla bla bla yet they cheat and lie to them. Maybe you should work on yourself and your relationship a bit more before connsidering marriage. You should tell your poor gf what you did and be honest. Don't be suprised if she sees sense and finds somebody worthy of her.
A
female
reader, cheannryl  +, writes (9 October 2010):
 Just tell her,anyway if she truly loves you then she'll forget it.Before you commit yourself into marriage,you should be honest.hello,she's gonna be your partner for a lifetime.
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A
male
reader, luter1  +, writes (9 October 2010):
 wow i read the the 2 comments and i don't agree with them...yes you cheated, yes you're an as**ole, and you shouldn't have done it...etc etc.... but we don't live with the past, we should make conclusions about our mistakes and never,never do it again!!! yes you will live with this secret all your life, but you'll live with a person you love,and with time pain (if you have it ) will go away.Lets see this situation from different points of view: there are 2 options,and 4 consequences.option 1) you tell her...1st consequence: she never forgets you,leaves you and you're alone and regretting even more about "telling her"!!! not the fact you cheated but the fact that you told her. 2nd consequence, she forgets you but she'll live with fear for entire life, and your life won't be the same as befor!!!!!!(sex will be different i asur you!!! that's the first what will change!!!)option 2) you doon't tell her. 1st consequence, you'll regrett and live with pain in your heart for entire life,but with the person you love.... 2nd consequence: time will pass and you'll forget that small incident,and you'll live a happily life with children,normal sex and love life.Now dear friend it's your choice, not every trueth can save a relationship. Good luck in your decision.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): hey my good man!
Way to respect yourself and come clean here. Its not easy to be open about cheating in fact ive known some a$$hole lawyers who were open about it and proud and they had wives!
I would def admit this to her, tell her you regret, and apologize and give her a solid reason why you feel it was a mistake. Most importantly, how will you take action in the future. all men have temptation and she will want to know how u address that in your future. I feel she will forgive you and move on. However, she will need some reassurance and plan of action to prevent any further incidents. Hope this helps and all the best to you and ur fiancee.
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