A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Where's this relationship going? I met a guy from a post I made on a listing site. Basically I wanted to go out/hang with someone. He seems decent and respectable. I dont know him well, he could be a total creep honestly (glass half full). But he has presented himself well and never made me feel uncomfortable. We only exchanged 2 emails where I sent my cell number. He text me and the next day we made a date for that Fri. All communication was through texting. Date was nice, I told him I had a good time before I got out the car. That Sun I text him to see what he was doing he said hanging out with the guys, I told him not to get into too much trouble (end of texting). Tue he text saying hed be near my neighborhood Thu. I said lets hang out then. We did. We spent time at my place just talking for about 2 hours then went to get a bite of food, talk for another 2 hours maybe. He doesnt elaborate much in his texts and in between there is no communication just a text an hour before saying "are we still on?". He wanted to watch a movie and drink wine on second date but we couldnt exactly because no privacy at my or his place at the moment. Here's the thing we have a large age gap. His oldest child is 2 years younger than me. I am unsure if he is comfortable with this (cant spend time at his home because his child is home for the weekend). He might be embarrassed, but there could be other reasons too. I mean we've only known each other 2 weeks. (I do not suspect he is married) Also Ive never dated before, never made out with anyone. So Im having alot of first time feelings. After our first date, I experienced for the first time "omg when is he going to call me again!" lol which is when I decided I couldnt wait and I text him. Ive had sex twice but not with anyone I desire the way I do him. I still feel like a virgin =(, which is of course the exact opposite of what he is lol... I want to talk to him, spend time with him, be near him, and be intimate with him. BUT I dont want to be with someone if I dont mean the same thing to them as they do to me. We both work. He is very established in the career area. Im just getting started but did focus a lot on my career more than any other aspect of my life so its a firm area of my life vs others my age.Its nice to feel this way even if it doesnt go anywhere. Anything I should be doing?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): Original poster here.
Thank you janniepeg. I do not want to be used, very true. My experience hasnt come up to conversation yet. I dont want him to have the wrong idea though, as Ive learned already its important he understands. He was well behaved on both dates so moments for noticalble sexual tention hasnt even happen. Very polite in text too. This is what I like about him lol. Maybe its all just a game. He opens the car door for me!
Thank you Love-Wisely. Ive done an exceptional job at restraining from texting him. I will be careful about my heart and body. Thank you for the advice, its exactly what I need.
Thank you anonymous. I know its not the romance of the century. But I dont want to drink wine and watch a movie with ANY of my other acquaintances. I haven't crushed on someone in this way in 6 years so Im not letting him go just yet.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): this is an unequal relationship. And not developing the way it should. He wants you at his beck and call when he decides. Just because he texted you and talked to you does not make it the romance of the century that should or will go anywhere. there are too many alarm bells going off in this scenario. I think you should keep looking for a person with more in common with you than this acquaintence.
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A
male
reader, Love-Wisely +, writes (8 November 2010):
 If you are happy with this and enjoying yourself, I think you should be keeping the ball in your court. His interest in you is there, but it's a little lukewarm still. Do you want this guy to be excited by you? Keep your distance until he calls you once in a while.
You see, most guys are lazy. If a girl doesn't make us work for our contact a little: we will sustain a relationship at very low levels of attention. Especially older guys.
If he is an attractive man, he is somewhat used to stringing less experienced girls along. Be aware of this. Keep your heart and body protection: Priority #1
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 November 2010):
 If this is your first experience, you probably wouldn't expect it to be long term, at the same time you don't want to be used either. It's nice that he can give you experience and he hasn't told you he would have a problem with that. You may say now that it's good it won't go anywhere because of the age. Later when you get to know him better one of you may fall in love. You will get intimate with him. There aren't really many barriers to that. If your body wants it you will make the time and place for it. Sex, companionship, and regularity. It's hard not to develop feelings when you have these. It can become a habit that's hard to break. It will also come a time when age is just a number.
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