A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi today is the 5th of july I feel very stupid and sad and angry and also really annoyed I don’t Even know how to describ how I feel! For the 4th of july me and my husband threw a b-day party for our son and then we spent all night till about 5:30am talking with some relatives and friends who were all guys and I was the only woman in the group, my husband was drunk and started talking about very stupid things and always saying that if he was to leave me he would have two or more women by tomorrow! we have been together for almost 8 yrs now and he has always been posesive, and always wants other people to know that he he is the boss, (My husband is the kind of man that works as much as he can he always tries to beon a job and since I don’t currently work I am a stay athome mom, but evry week he will get home and give me his whole paycheck so I can administer our household income by that I don’t have any issues I am actually glad that I don’t have to move a finger and not worry about having to work to be able to pay for our living expenses. My husband and I have one child who is already a young boy and I also am very glad that my husband always tries to have the best wecan for our child (he actually kind of raised our child since he was only a few months old (he had to because I started to work ) I have been with my husband since I was 14 yrs old and he was 19, currently I am 22 when I left my mothers house to live with him I left because I was having a lot ofproblemswith my mom (it is not that I want to say that I was a saint but my mother got me to a point that I could not stand to live with her any more she was the kind of person who would hit and insult me for just about everything nothing I ever did was good for her and she was always telling family members that I was a slut because I wanted to be with her husband (my Stepfather) which by the way was not truth. (This really gets me sad so please excuse me) I don’t know why she would do this to her own daughter after all I am her flesh and blood) but anyways back to what I was originally telling you I have been with my husband for almost 8 yrs andfor the first yr everything was great with him we did discuss but other than that we were doing great he used to spoil me a lot he gave me everything I wanted he necer said no to me and I guess that is why I left my house to live with him we used to talk on the phone when I was able to before knowing him phisicly we talked on the phone for about 6 months then on a school summer vacation we met when my mother sended me to a relatives house in Georga so we met there and a few months after my mother started treating me worst so I called him and I asked him to please let mego stay with him, he said sure and he sent some money to me so that I could pay my bus fair and leave to Alabama were he was living at the time, A few days after I left without saying anything to anyone I remember that I kissed my little brother and sister goodbye and left crying thinking that I would never see them again and feeling sadest than ever (I remember that all the way from dallas to Alabama I cried because I didn’t want to leave my little brother and sister alone with my mom) when I got to Alabama (at 6am) I got lost and did not know what to do I only had a small bag of luggage and had only $20 left, my boyfried was not answering his cell and I did not know what to do or think so the only thing that I did was to pray to my virgen ((Guadalupe) my little brother had givin me this image so it would protect me) and I set off to find my boyfriend the only thing that I knew was that he was working on some apartments that were being remodeled at the time. A old man who had gotten off at the same bus stop asked me if I needed help or a ride somewhere and I said yes (which I was scared to) but his daughter and son-in-law picked him up and he told them that I needed to get a ride (I did not know were to go so I asked them to please drop me off were there was a lot of Hispanic people so they did and there I was even more confused and then a taxi went by and stoped asked me if I needed to go somewhere and I asked him if he knew a wal-mart that was near a town with a lot of Hispanic people and he said yes so he took methere and when we got there he told methe taxi fare which was a little over $30 wich I only had $20 and I told him that I was not going to be able to pay him the whole amount and that is when he told me that he could take me to a place that I would be able to make a lot of money and I got really scared and started crying and that is when this lady went by and asked me if I was allright that is when I got of the taxi and ran in to the wal-mart center and there I waited till about 10am just watching everyone to see if I recognize my boyfriend or one of his friends but had no luck then a couple of men passed by and told me that they had been there earlier and saw me and asked if I was Ok I asked them if they knew some apartments that were under remodeling they said that there was some that they knew of and asked if I needed a ride there, by then I was really tired and hungry so I told them to please take me (not knowing what will happen I got in there car and they started driving (it was good that they did go through congested roads) I thought if anything I will get off thecar even if it was still running but they did take me to some apartments that were being remodeled and them after a few I recognized the truck of my boyfriends boss so I asked them if they could please get me off there which I did not tell them to let me off at the place where the truck was parked but about two blocks down so that they would not follow me at the time it was very hot and I was anxious to find out if that truck was really my boyfriends boss or not but when I got to the parking lot I did not see it anymore so I Sat down on the pavement and started crying just then I saw my boyfriends bosses wife and little daughter so I ran towarsher and asked her for my boyfriend (at the time I was really glad that I finally found someone familiar) she said that he had been looking for me all morning long, I did not belive her when she told me that his cell had been disconnected ) but then she helped me up to her apartment and told me to take a shower and eat something, after I showered my boyfriend got there and huged me I felt betrayed , I thought that he had tricked me into going to a strange place and then just leaving me ther to my luck) but when he explained I was just glad that I had made it there after all thescarry moments I had been through) anyway after that I stayed and lived with him there at his bosses house and just to let you know we did not have a bed so we had to sleep on the floor with just a small cushion as a pillow and a flat bed sheet as our cover but I was still happy because I was not with my mom and he treated me better than anyone ) after a few months we went back to live to Atlanta and he rented an apartment for us and when I was about to be 15 he had communicated with my mother and had convinced her to go and see me so when she got there I was supprised and scared of her reaction but she actually was ok andshehad never been like that with me she was really sweet and understanding towards me they even celebrated my 15 with me and bought me a cake, when it was time for her to leave she left my little brother and sister with me and my boyfriend and that really made me happy because they were there (I am not liying but I cried almost all nights thinking about my siblings) so I kept my siblings for all summer long and then she came to get them and was as nice as ever. Well then after a approx ½ yr later my boyfriens boss died and he was left without a job and without being able to support both of us that’s when he talked to my stepfather and asked if we could stay with them for a while untill he got a job, my stepfather who has always been nice said yes. So we left Atlanta to go to Dallas and stayed at my moms house and she was really nicesheeven cooked for my boyfriend and washed our clothes and all, at the time I was the happiest person in the planet, my boyfriend started working with my step dad and we started paying rent and bills with that and always gave my mom the rest of the money for her to buy groceries(my boyfriend did not make much) we were ok for a few months then when I got pregnant so my mom threw us out. Not having were to go I called my father and asked if I could come live to SC with him (I had not talked to him in the longest he was a unobligated father) he said yes and he even had a job ready fo my boyfriend (when we got there he told us that he was not going to help us with any money and that we had to pay him rent and bills and ½ groceries for the house so we had to stay there andmy boyfriend was working good so we were able to save some money and buy our baby’s things and also a vehicle then when my baby was born, two weeks after we moved to my boyfriends relatives house that is were he started to chngeand started being possesive controlling and mean towards me there was nothing that I could do because I did not have anyone to talk to ( I had no friends or family that I could count on) So I had to deal with his bad attitude for the first few months of my babys life then I found a job in a deli food storeandstarted working I was already 17 yrs old and two yrs went by and my life with him was a living hell the only thing that made me go back home was my baby (because he took care ofthebaby whileI worked evenings (he worked 7-3pm and I worked 3:30pm-12:30am so he had to take care of our child) he was a good father that I cant fuss about but he was a jealouse, possesive, demanding, mean person and I delt with him untill he started to hit me physically (that lasted a few months) and once I decided to call the police and opened a report against him he was in jail for domestic abuse for 3 days but when he came out he was worst that’s when I hesitated to get home but was looking forward to seeing my baby well then he told meto quit my job or else he would leave so I quit. we again started living just of his pay weekly and we were good but as a family getting worst and worst a few years went by andthen I remember that once he hit me on the face andI called my oldest brothers girlfriend and asked her to please go get me and I left him but when I came back to get my baby things he hit me again he was waiting for me and then asked meto stay and promised he wouldnot treat me like that anymore but I still left after he once again slaped me when I told him that I was going to leave for good. Well then a few days after he looked formeand convinced meof getting back together with him he promised he would change and I belived him. Things did get better he was more polite and gentle and he was good (hehad always been a good father ) but now a few yrs after he is still nice but he is starting to be possesive, jealouse, mean and hatefull towards me he is starting to get drunk almost evry day and today he stared telling our friends that if it wasn’t for him I would be a slut that because he has me I am a decent women its like he wants them to think that he is so much better than me, he puts me down so much to the point that I want to run away and never comeback I am so tired of his indirect insults and plus he is always talking about all the girlfriends he had before me and he will even say their names in front of my face he is always saying that there are so many other women better than me which there is but does he really have to put me down like that in front of friends. And when we came to bed he acts like he said nothing wrong and tells me that if I am not happy to go sleep with the dog I am so full of his crap that I want to explode. I don’t have any friends or family that I can count onso what do I do I don’t want my son to grow without his father but I cant live like this any more but if I leave what will I do where will I go who will help me. Will I ever be Happy how can I make my life better and actually get respect from him and me.
View related questions:
drunk, in jail, jealous, money, puts me down Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ugh101 +, writes (5 July 2009):
 You have got to give out. Once a man hits you. he WILL hit again. he nos no better.If he is giving you his pay cheak start to put some in "savings".You will have to plan cause this will not be an overnight thing.Try tlking to a preacher or a hotline for abuse.Best of LuckXX
A
female
reader, birchybabe15  +, writes (5 July 2009):
 He sounds like he treats you terribly! Its only a matter of time until you son gets dragged in to it. He may be a brill dad forever but your son will still be getting affected he'll think that its right to treat women the way your husband is. You don't want your son turning in to a mini him. It'll be hard but don't stay he could end up seriously hurting you. I have a daughter and me and her father argue sometimes I feel like leaving but the only reason I don't is because we never argue in front of Cara. If my fiancé spoke to or about me the way yours does he would be out before he could say I'm sorry. You only live once do you want to spend it being treated this way? X
...............................
|
