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female
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anonymous
writes: I have a hideously long backstory with this boy I've known for almost two years. We met completely by chance, and we became extremely close friends straight away. We've always been very cuddly and content to be in each other's company (people were always throwing in the "awww they look like a couple!" things at parties). Thing is, we live quite far apart and now we're at uni, we only get to see each other on average once every two months (sometimes more, sometimes less), but we always spend at least one night together.However, almost exactly a year ago, things moved up a level and we started fooling around. Since then, every time we've seen each other, the same thing has happened. We normally meet up as a group of friends with other people, but once or twice he's organised a weekend away, just the two of us. Now he's asked me to go stay with him, alone, for up to a week. For a start, does that sound romantically motivated? Obviously, I know exactly what's going to happen, but do you think he's just in this for sex? Not that we've had it, it's just very likely this time (and yes, I DO want to have sex with him, it's not one-way).Second question is, how do I go about working out the status of our relationship? I don't want to come out of the blue and be like "hi, so, marriage and three kids, right?", I just want him to ask me out if he DOES want to be with me, rather than leaving it at this up in the air state. I don't know what the rules are about other boyfriends and stuff, and that's what's worrying me. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (5 August 2006):
 Honey, he wants to take the relationship to the next physical level. I think that's a good bet.
As for taking the relationship to the next level of "connection" (not physical), open communication is the best policy here. If you want to take the relationship to that next level then you both need to be honest about your intentions. You are now undergoing a test of your friendship, and there are risks and rewards.
I would caution against linking the sex with the future of the relationship. He might get scared (and defensive) when faced with a future that he didn't expect to contemplate. You might even be afraid of a future you didn't expect to contemplate - this runs both ways. That's why openness is key if you want to know if your friendship will survive.
You both stand a chance of having a pressure-free experience. Just enjoy whatever happens, and if he reciprocates with honest and open talk about the future then all the better!
Good luck and take care.
A
female
reader, anon2907  +, writes (4 August 2006):
 Yes I think he's after you 'romantically' ;-)
And you do want to be with him, so this is a good start!!
But if you're concerned about what it all means, have the conversation. What about over email or IM? I've recently had the exact conversation with someone and although it was difficult to bring up, I'm glad we've discussed it before going any further. It's easier over email or IM though, you get less tongue tied!!
Good luck!!
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