A
female
age
41-50,
*enta
writes:I have been datiing this man for a year and we fist we all over on another and then as a year approached it became less. i know how relationships go and they do settle down in the sex department the longer your together. i was even married for 15 yrs, Divorced now and my husband wanted me more than the guy I am seeing. i do know that he has had some FWB. He may even still see them but I have asked him if hes attracted to me and he says yes. When I first met him he was on every dating/sex site so I think he may have some sort of addiction but I think he need something new to get off. He says he loves me and we hang out 5 days a week. I sleep over we do normal couple things, movies cook, laugh etc. But the sex is lacking. I can be there for 5 days an he makes no advances and but he is affectionate kissing, cuddling, etc. So where is he getting his sex filled from? I am worried he has an addiction to meeting new people and having little flings and thinks our relationship is fine. He does not realize I want more sex when I ask if hes attracted to me and tell him we need more sex he gets defensive. I am not accusing I am just wonder whats going on our relationship is good but I am thinking without sex how can we say I love you and spend so much time together and he loves sex we would go at it a few times a days not so long ago and no he has no health issues. Hes not working right now I am worried he is meeting people in the day. How do you ask him with out sounding like something is going on? And whats up with this, I am a good looking girl its bothering me he isnt all over me, never had that happen before.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2011): Not to worry, all guys go through a time when the testosterone levels are somewhat lower than normal. He'll most likely bounce back and before you know it you'll be wishing that he'd get off of you once in a while.
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (2 December 2011):
Perhaps he wants you to initiate?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 December 2011):
 he may not need sex that often... for some men (my current bf for example) cuddles and affection are way more important than the actual act of sex. they can jerk off and get that release easily.... but the affection and cuddles and kisses is what they can't get outside of a relationship.. even FWBs don't give you all that cuddling.
do you go after him and tell him you want him... see my man knows I want him... just not at 1 am when i've been asleep for two hours... and I know he wants me just not at the times i want him... so we work on it...
you need to talk to him about it to be honest... find out what's going on and how to improve it.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (2 December 2011):
 Just tell him straight. Tell him you would like to have more sex!
You find each other attractive, what's stopping you from initiating the sex yourself?? Men find that really sexy you know. One night when you're at his place, go to the bathroom and slip into some sexy lingerie, then appear from the bathroom, take his hand and lead him to the bedroom without saying anything. Trust me, he'll be gobsmacked, but so turned on at the same time!
Good luck :)
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