A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my fiance for 4 years and we have 2 beautiful kids and my youngest is a year old and for some reason i have lost all sexual desire.i dont understand why, before our daughter was concieved we would have sex all the time about 3 to 4 times a day and now i dont know what the hell is wrong with me. i love him so much and still really attracted to him but why has my sex drive gone down... help me
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female
reader, Lisa206 +, writes (12 February 2011):
 First of all, you say Fiance & Beautiful children...
Hmmm, no marriage yet
Very acceptable in these times
Yes, I think that you have gotten eveything you wanted.
Why would you want sex?
Babies, kids, finance, bills, work, ugh
There is no answer to this issue as I see it repeated all over this board
and really getting yourself all gussied up so you can have sex that you don't want is not the answer.
Take an agreed upon break from sex and talk about it with your fiance.
its normal don't worry about it
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): I think this is a fairly normal thing for all couples to go through. I think a few factors contribute to why this happens. Having small children tires you out by the end of the day, that along with work commitments and all the other, day to day duties and more often than not, all you want to do at the end of the day.........is sleep. Another factor can be that the two of you have grown 'comfortable' with each other. Neither of you feel the need to impress each other to win your partners affection. You no longer feel the need to dress sexy like you did when you first started dating. You no longer feel the need to go that extra mile to make it special. It's probably more or less, another duty and you really can't be bothered. Maybe you both need to start tying NEW things. Start setting aside one night a week where you take things slowly to enjoy each other as much as you can. Maybe get a babysitter.Take turn about each week where one is the giver and the other the receiver. Start with a full body massage. Then talk about what each one wants the other to do. Be adventurous, sensual and communicate about anything and everything.Once you start getting the sparks flying again, you'll probably find that you'll be wanting it more. Holy hell, I can't say, that you'll get back to doing it 3 to 4 times a day but you can always try.I don't know how you could even walk doing it that many times a day.......LOLAnyway, you've surely given me something to think about. Actually, you made me think, "If she was doing it that much before, and now she says she's lost her desire, how many times a day is she doing it now? Maybe only once???? Then I wondered if it's your husband that I see each day walking around with a constant smile on his face....hahahahah.Good luck Let me know how you go.xxx
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A
male
reader, bigdave1991  +, writes (12 February 2011):
sex life always changes after a baby,
but that doesnt mean the spark is gone?
if i was you coming forma guys point of view i would say...
go out spend some cash on a nice outfit...
get a babysitter for the night...
send your bf a text of your new outfit and wait for the reply
then when he home your be there readdy for him without the kids so no distracting form the kids.
and relight that fire!
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