A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is kind of a strange question but here goes. When having sex with an unfamiliar partner, where do you "cum" when you need to pull out? Is there some kind of ettiquette with this kind of thing? Seriously I never know what to do when that moment comes. Do I do it on the sheets or try to get off of them. Should I just let it go on their stomach? Whatever I do always feels like the wrong thing. I know wearing a condom is the obvious answer (Please no lectures on STD's, etc. I know the risks) but is there some kind of unwritten rule here?
View related questions:
condom, std Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): Unfamiliar partners? If it's a one night stand and strictly recreational sex, who cares? Pull it out and shoot it wherever it turns you on. Don't be such a boy scout! A month down the road she probably won't even remember that you blew your load on her belly.
A
female
reader, korculan queen  +, writes (9 July 2008):
Simple if you don't want to share your cum then either don't do it or wear a condom. You know the saying love me love my cum. Well mate if you don't want your cum inside her then don't enter. If she does not want to get pregnant then wear a condom. You obviously want to have sex. Ok why not have sex 2 days after she finishes her period. It is safe to have sex up until day 12 ie day 1 is the first day of her period. This way you don't have to pull out she wont get pregnant as day 14-18 is when a woman is fertile. Ok so options, don't have sex, use a condom, or have sex during the non fertile period. Simple.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): Dash, I'm not sure about the etiquette issue, but a nice towel and wet cloth is a very nice thing.
Tish is right, this question shouldn't bother you, unless it is really a matter of etiquette for after you settle down and are planing to have children, or both you and your partner have several AIDS, HIV, and STD's tests done, know your both safe, and have been together for at least five years. Maybe we've all been young, but nowadays the chances of catching a sexual disease that will kill you is very, very real. It's not "Please no lectures on STD's, etc. I know the risks" if you did, you wouldn't be thinking these things.
Trisha is right, you talk about it as if it's all about you, what about the girl, what if her and her next partner don't want to catch your disease and die because you thought you "knew the risks".... Guys like you carry disease, and I tell girls and women to stay far away from your arse. "If he dosen't put a condom on, then he hates you and wants you dead." That's the way I see it, and I hope you never have sex with anyone if you don't know how dangerous this is.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): Hey hon! No judgement here. We've all engaged in some risky behavior in our lives if we're honest with ourselves. Right or wrong, I used withdrawal sometimes when I was younger. I don't know if there is a universal answer to your question though. Speaking personally, I HATE it on my sheets. It leaves a clammy wet spot I don't want to lie in and can leave a stain. I'd rather the guy finish on my belly if it has to be done. Cleanup is easier. Also, be courteous enough to bring her a towel right after so she doesn't have to get up to find one with your stuff on her. I always appreciated that.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (9 July 2008):
 You've had some good advice here and I just wanted to add one thing. This question really ticked me off for some reason and I just realized why.
You say you know all about STDs. Tell me what you know about HPV.
Human papilloma virus.
Because your cavalier attitude about unprotected sex doesn't just affect you with STDs; it affects HER. She could get any number of infections which could cause major health risks to her in the future. Her fertility, her health, her life could be at risk because you don't take sensible precautions. That is the height of selfishness to me. It's one thing not to wear a seatbelt in your own car and drive too fast; it's entirely another to drive too fast and endanger other people's lives.
Lecture over. If you can have sex with someone, surely you know her well enough to ask this etiquette question?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): A towel is best option.
I have always appreciated the thoughtfulness of not getting me or bed messy. Esp if you want to cuddle afterwards and not run to clean up bed, or yourself!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): Sorry, it has to be condom, you wear one each and every time just to be safe. When you know your partner long enough and feel old enough to having children, then either in the vagina or on her stomach is the best place.
...............................
A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (9 July 2008):
 You ask for a lesson in etiquette and you get a lecture on STDs and pregnancy.
OK, I think that on the stomach is the obvious place. However, it may or may not be acceptable to her.
You could always ask her? "I'm ready to come, where do you want me to come?" You could suggest the stomach. Have some tissues ready just in case she looks grossed out!
If she really likes you or is that way inclined, she may even point to her mouth! (I just offer this as a possibility. I think the chances are actually about 0.1%).
On the sheets is not so good. Even after you clean up there is a wet patch that is cold and unpleasant.
...............................
A
female
reader, talker +, writes (9 July 2008):
 Yeah, I agree, if it's an unfamiliar person then you really need to just use a condom and cum in it. Some guys even pull out when they are wearing a condom and cum in the condom that way. They don't want to run risks of having a baby. Better safe than sorry. Besides, if it's an unfamiliar person then you really don't know where they've been.
Either way...the question about cumming on her, in a cup, on the floor, in her mouth is really up to her. Ask her beforehand what she wants you to do with it. If she says, don't get it on me or near me...have a towel handy so that you can cum in it.
But to be honest, cum in the condom. It's easy, not messy, and you avoid getting STD's and/or getting her pregnant. Don't be reckless. If it's an issue of "it feels better" without, then you can get the condoms that are thin so they're more sensitive for you. OR you can get ribbed condoms for her pleasure and I assure you, she will thank you for it. Condoms are the best way to go.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dave_Monk  +, writes (9 July 2008):
 although i hate the usual answers you get here about STDs and what ever. But unprotected is a big no no. Trust me I've had all the heartache and trouble from unplanned sex. Even with out cuming pregnancy can still occur.
Anywho back to the question, I think if you have HAVE to go bereback then cum into the sheets only If its your own bed (and you dont have to sleep in it). Other wise its best to ask.
But seriously, protection is a complete must!
much love
...............................
A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (9 July 2008):
 Hiya - I know you said you don't want a lecture on STD's, but you didn;t mentio pregnancy, do you know that even if you don't ejaculate in her, she can still get pregnant?
My friend had a one night stand with a girl who was "on the pill", he didn't use a condom, and he's now about 3 days away from being a daddy...Oops!
Be careful :)
...............................
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (9 July 2008):
 a guy posted a very similar question here a while ago. the link is:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/one-night-stand--is-there-a-general.html
to get more answers.
ill say wat i said to him, and what you said yourself but seem to be looking for another way out...wear a condom. are they that bad that you'll risk other things?
condom = safety, no pregnancy risk, and no awkward searches for appropriate places to cum
...............................
A
female
reader, Enevelopes +, writes (9 July 2008):
I won't give you a lecture on STDs but there could be worse like ... a baby.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): Err I don't know myself, but going by films do it in a glass or cup. Or they could swallow it?! Or of course do it all over them?!
Ask them before hand, but as you get older you just do it inside them. Also yeah, wear a condom because that is the safer and easier option.
...............................
A
female
reader, MissRosie +, writes (9 July 2008):
 Semen is released from the penis even before ejaculation. If you don't want to be a daddy then I sujest you wear a condom. The withdrawl method is not enough does not prevent pregnancy.
You should not be having unprotected sex with an 'unfamiliar partner'. You obviously don not know the risks.
No condom sex is for people in long term relationships.
MissRosie.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2008): The right answer here is to cum in the condom
And no, no written rule, more like an implied one
...............................
A
female
reader, 1a2b3c4d +, writes (8 July 2008):
well depending what kind of person she is,depends on where it would go. Stomach stops the mess and she might find it a turn on.Although having unprotected sex is a dangerous move,ive been there and was shocked a few months later.
...............................
|
