A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 25 years. my husband is 14 years older than me and have cheated 5 times during our marriage each time bring home STD's we have no interactions when he;s home he's in one room watching TV im in the other room on the computer. I have asked several times for us to take walks together, eat dinner together across the table from each other, and have asked for conversations from him. and when I go in to try to talk to him he pays me no attention. I told him this morning I feel that we have outgrown each other and his reply was "I think you're right about that. it hurt when he said that. but I just feel he no longer loves me. and is no longer into me. he did have another child with someone 13 years ago and i just keep forgiving him and trying to make a marriage out of something thats not there. we do have a son and daughter together that are grown. I;ve always been told GOD honors marriage. and Im trying so hard to stay in my marriage regardless to what has happen. at times I think Im crazy for putting up with this but my mom who is decease always said turn the other cheek. im getting tired and worn out the marriage is draining me. and I just dont want it any more. im ready to give the marriage up. its alot of mental and emotional abuse. but what do i do? Do i stay for my marriage to be honorable in GOD presents. or do I let him continue to have extra marrial affairs and hope someday he come to his senses and let me in his heart. I was a virgin when we married and have never had the opportunity to be with another man. and we never are intimate anymore. because he has other sexual relationships and I can no longer aloow him to abuse me sexually. please send any suggestions.
View related questions:
affair, emotionally abusive, std Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): Your husband has broken the covenant between you, him and God. You don't have a marriage. You are just co-existing. A marriage doesn't involve any form of abuse. With that abuse, truthfully, you are not married. You are cheating yourself; you deserve better and should leave. I wouldn't necessarily say this just based on his affair, IF he was genuinely remorseful and gave 110% devotion and re-commitment to the marriage. But he has not done that and doesn't seem to have the desire to do so.
I experienced emotional/mental abuse from my husband of only 2 years of marriage. At the end it became physical and I didn't want to be in that type of marriage. I felt conflicted because based on my understanding of God's view on marriage, infidelity was the only way a divorce was permitted despite God's dislike of divorce. But I came to accept that God loves me and he wants the best for me and for me to have a happy life. That wasn't possible with my husband at that point, as sad as that was. I also reminded myself that we have a forgiving Lord. He forgives us for a failed marriage just as much as he forgives us for other sins. He knows your heart and once you repent your sins they will be forgiven.
So rest assured, if divorce is what you chose to do (and I think it's warranted in your case) God still loves you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): He broke the marriage. There is nothing wrong with you walking away from it. Your post strongly says what you want. You want to walk. So do it. Walk away, start a new life and be happy.
...............................
A
female
reader, hellocupid  +, writes (20 September 2010):
i'm going to be completely honest with you here, this guy seems to be treating you like a complete doormat, if your children where much younger then i would see your point of staying with this man as you would have a reason to, keeping your family together but you should not be treated this way, if god honors marriage then he would not have allowed this man to hurt you as he has done. this man seems to be doing nothing to keep your marriage alive, you should be able to be out there and having fun, you dont need to be in a relationship to prove you're happy. you can do as you are and with your children by your side! i hate to see someone getting treat like this so from the bottom of my heart i hope you find something better!
...............................
|
