A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I came out of a relationship with a guy who was busy with work, scuba diving, golf and watching sports. I felt neglected and let down. We broke up after ten months as he said I was needy and he wanted an independent woman. I wasn't very nice to my new boyfriend when we met a few months later but he persisted as he could see I was upset. Fast forward a year. He says I was so horrible last year he sometimes finds it difficult to have sex with me. It's as if he holds a grudge. We have mismatched sex drives I think. We live 45 minute drive apart and we meet twice a week. Never for the whole week end. We can never go away or spend a lot of time together because he is busy with his major house projects. Where is the balance? I do love him and he doesn't want to give up on us but I can't see where I fit in, in his busy lifestyle.I think I am independent. I live alone. I go away week ends with friends. I go to places alone because my bf is so busy. He says I am too dependent on him. Maybe it's me but I feel lonely and neglected again. .....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2015): I personally don't like this word at all: needy. What does it mean anyway? We all are needy, we all need companionship, we all need love.
Your men tell you this because they don't want you full time. They are sooooo independent, that they cant concentrate on any woman in their life.
When a guy wants you, he wants 100% of the time, not part time. What both of them do is put you on a shelf and when they need you for sex or hanging it they take you from there and when they are done they put you back there. That's not right. Find yourself someone more into you.
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (5 March 2015):
 It sounds like your boyfriends weren't that into you and both just wanted a casual relationship. That's fine if both of you are happy with that, but if one of you wants more then obviously that's a problem.
Maybe you find yourself attracted to men who are independent and have lots going on in their lives, men who in fact have no time or desire for a full-on relationship?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2015): You moved on after only a few months after splitting with your other bf to this new one. I don't know your whole history, but are you someone who always wants to have a bf? You live alone, but you don't seem context to be by yourself. If you can't be without a man in your life, I would say that is quite needy.You might need a break from relationships altogether for a while, find your own hobbies and interests and learn that your happiness comes from you and only you. If you're with someone who can't even have one whole weekend with you even once a month - then this doesn't seem like a relationship but more friends with benefits. When you're with someone, they should WANT to spend some of their time with you and you'll mutually give up some time to be with each other.If two partners, who don't know each other, both say you are needy then maybe you need to review both yourself and what you do in relationships as well as the people you chose to be in relationships with.
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