A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i met a guy on a dating site 3 months ago and had some dates we both came off the site but recently hes gone back on he hasnt told me this, i just found out. he said he wants to see me again and likes me then tells me (what i think is rubbish) he cant wait to see me again how im his type andhe can see a future for us and is planning to meet again but hes canceled twice saying he was skint (he had just been paid from work) i feel and think hes just keeping me as an option incase he cant find anyone else (from some things he said before we met he said by christmas he wants a woman in his life actually be in a relatinship) but with finding him back on the dating site i just feel im being played , do i do any of the options ive put 1, tell him its not going to be anymore than friendship and end things or 2,tell him i know hes on the site and hes just messed me about 3, dont say i know hes on the site and say to him i feel im being kept as an option if nothing better comes along 4, tell him i want commitment by the end of the month and if he cant give it then theres no point carrying on . if none of these ideas what could i say ? i really like him n its starting to hurt with feeling im in limbo
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male
reader, lifesgreat +, writes (4 December 2014):
I would say you are correct .. it seems he is keeping you as a maybe.
cancelling on you 3 times now... granted he could be skint but if I was going on a date with a girl I wanted too .. guess what I would make sure I have got funds and after 3 times he really isn't fussed .
Also the fact he has gone back on the dating website is another sign he is looking about.
Him telling you all that was bull , I mean don't actions speak louder than words.
If I was you just end contact with him ..simply say you don't think it working out... And do not fall for his lies again .
I mean after only 3 months of dating ... you would want somebody who is excited to see you and wants to spend time with you .
good luck
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 December 2014):
 I think CMMP and Jannipeg are right.
YOU are wasting your time on a guy you HOPE will turn out to BE the kind of guy you want. HE isn't. YOU are not his first priority - his bills are (which is all good and right) but if he can't manage to find things to do for a date, that doesn't cost an arm and a leg, with you, but instead CANCEL a date? Then he is NOT that keen ON you. He is still talking to you, in CASE he doesn't get a "better" bite back on the site (not saying he can, but you know what I mean). He is HEDGING his bets.
I'd say, tell him you KNOW he went back on the site, and to YOU that means he isn't AS serious about YOU as you were/are about him, so you are cutting him lose and looking for someone else. Or simply tell him, that you are LOOKING for a guy to DATE, not a guy to chat with.
DO NOT ask for commitment from this guy. He MIGHT tell you SURE honey, to your face, but he ISN'T into you to that degree. WANTING him to commit isn't going to MAKE him commit.
Time to MOVE ON.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2014): Walk away before it's too late. There's no relationship that can come out of this, or rather no good one. He's just telling you sweet nothings and hoping that you're gullible enough to believe them. I think he's lying to you. Don't take the hard way to find out.
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A
female
reader, sarinite +, writes (4 December 2014):
 In all honesty, I would just cut my losses. There are decent and good men out there, but this one sounds as though he may be a bit of a player.
He's too skint- then do something that costs nothing!
He can't wait to see you again- now he's back on a dating site?!?
I would just say no more and leave it at that. He isn't worth you feeling hurt over and someone out there is waiting to find you. I would rather wait for the one that would make time for me and genuinely gets excited at the thought of me, let alone seeing me again!
Don't get down over him and think about how much you really want to be with someone that raises so many doubts. x
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (4 December 2014):
 So he only talked about the future to make you loosen up and hopefully have sex with him? If he's broke then there is no point in asking for a commitment unless you offer to pay for dates and movies.
Men who can't afford relationships but go on dating sites are ones who are waiting to get lucky because there are some women who just want a sexual release as well. It's more like he has less confidence and not that he wants to play the field. He's expecting you to dump him anytime once you know his background. That's why he's back on the site. No need to take it personally.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (3 December 2014):
Well if you don't like the way someone is treating you, why waste anymore time? You can talk to him but he'll still be the same guy.
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