A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I need some ideas of where I could meet some guys and hopefully one turn into a bf. Im not into the whole clubbing scene, and besides most people who do that typicall only want one night stands. So that is out of the question. My work is mainly all females,and of the few males there, I woudlnt want to date anyway because I wouldnt want ot have to quit my job if we broke up. So that doesnt work either. So what does that leave??? I dont think i would have luck joining a interest group of mine because most of my interests are "girly interests" or there is no group for it that exists! Im running out of ideas. help please??
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female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (17 September 2008):
 its really not. i think that you may have had an experience that has lead you to believe this. clubbing is a great way to meet ppl and have fun. despite wat you may think. it is nowhere near trying to find a needle in a haystack - i have met alot of great ppl while out, none of whom have been chasing a one night stand! im 22, and i find that ppl have grown out of that. im not sure wat age you are but im assuming you're about the same. those ppl you are against stick out like a sore thumb in a club. i think you need to stop thinking like that and be a bit more optimistic - how else are you going to be open to meeting ppl?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): Interesting idea's you've put forward hurtandbitter, I've seen guys like you and your friend, they're always the guys that girls avoid, they keep bothering people, and they get insulted a lot. My ex and I were together for 18years and I met him in a nightclub. My friend has been married for around 10 years, and yes she met her husband in a nightclub. I know you said typically, but in my experience people like that, or people like HutandBitter are very, very rare. Perhaps it's a cultural thing, differences in age, or the clubs you've been too. Due to the fact that I have Jamaican heritage, clubs, music, and dancing are very important in my culture.
Anyway it doesn't matter, you know all about nightclubs and you don't like them, so don't go. Try some other places instead. Make sure you always get dressed well, when your on the street, sometimes guys will just approach a pretty girl, and you don't have to date them, but it really gives your ego a boost. Keep your head held high, and actually look around at the guys that are already in your world. Sometimes guys actually fancy you, but your too busy thinking of something else to notice. Unfortunately, guys usually come along when your not looking for one, that's always been the case as far as I've seen.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI never said EVERYONE who goes clubbing is like that, i said typically. So obviously from saying that I know not EVERYONE is like that, but many are. So i dont see the point in trying to find someone in a club when typically most are like that- it would be like finding a needle in a hay stack.
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A
male
reader, hurtandbitter  +, writes (12 September 2008):
Clubs and bars are the last place you should look to meet someone you're considering a long term relationship with. A lot of my friends, and even me at some points, go out to clubs to get wasted, flirt around, get out grind on and if we're lucky enough pick up a girl for the night. That's what constitutes fun at our age.There are some cases where you can meet some guys who are not there to just get laid. Sometimes I'll go out to enjoy myself, have fun, and dance around and not get drunk. I know how to dance very well if you're wondering. Probably the only guy in the group who actually knows how to dance other then do some drunk grinding like most of them do. Although a lot of the girls I talk to there find it hard to believe.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): Indeed O'connor,
I'm tired of listening to these posts that make the assumption that everyone who goes clubbing is a slut or is looking for a one night stand. Very, very judgemental. What you should say, is I don't like clubbing because I don't like music and I don't know how to dance. I love clubbing, along with all the rest of my friends, because I like dancing and I like music. I go to nightclubs because I want to dance, not because I want a one night stand. I have met most of my partners in night clubs because I need to be with a guy who likes dancing and has a love of music. If I were religious I would go to church. I love books as well, but I know I can't meet anyone in a library or bookshop, because if they love reading like me, they will be more interested in books than the girls they see.
You seem to have very few interests and hobbies, you need to work on these things first before you go out finding a man. You like girly things and are interested in that. Well the man you need should be interested in the things you like. If you like fashion, go shopping and look for a man who is well dressed, or go to fashion shows, and things like that. Or ask your girlfriends who like girly things if they can recommend a guy for you that shares your interests too. Even if you find a guy, you and him will have little to talk about and you both will be bored. Why not start broadening your horizons, find something interesting to do, volunteer to help someone, start going to the gymn. Women who have interesting hobbies meet lots of people and will develop and interesting personality because they have tons of things to do.
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A
female
reader, O Connor +, writes (12 September 2008):
i take a little bit of offence to your generalization of ppl who are into the "clubbing scene" - going out, enjoying music and dancing and meeting new ppl does not mean that you only want to jump into bed with a stranger for one night of wild sex. i have a boyf of 4yrs, who i met in a club, and i still go out with friends and guess wat? - i dont have one night stands with everyone. wat do you do with your friends? bars? dinner? dancing? all great ways to meet ppl and enjoy yourself. not all necessarily drink and sex fuelled.
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