A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I met a really nice girl about 3 weeks ago and we have been out on one date that went really well, i'm 32 and she is 25. Since then we have been texting each other alot and we are arranging to go out again real soon. I really do like this girl alot and would love a relationship to happen between us after a few more dates. The thing is i have got a 5 year old son from a previous relationship and i see my son every other weekend, or every chance i get, but i have never been married. I'm really scared that when i tell this girl i have got a child she might run a mile and not want to know me anymore. My question is do you think she will want to know me after, and when should i tell her, like on the second date or the third date? I really do like this girl and don't want to lose contact with her.Thank you
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female
reader, annaprot  +, writes (16 April 2008):
hey,
i am 22 and my boyfriend is 33. i never thought that i would have a 6 yr old child in my life so soon =). he didnt tell me right away and it really pissed me off but i understood why. his last 2 girlfrineds didnt want to be a part of the childs life and he has 50% custody. As untraditional as this may sound i think you should go on 3 dates before you tell her. my reasoning is that she has a little bit of time to know you for who you are as opposed to be planning the fiture of her step-child. if she likes you enough she wont run. most women in this situation are more afraid of the ex than the child. with good reason in my case. tell her over dinner, bring her some flowers and just say that you are so sorry for not telling her right away, but you were so afraid of losing a good thing. good luck.
A
female
reader, Cindy303 +, writes (16 April 2008):
 Take it from a single mom here, hiding the child wont help anything. I think you need to step up to the plate and lay it out there for her. If she really likes you she will accept you and all you have to offer, including what I am sure is an wonderful child. If she leaves you, then at least you know this girl was not the girl you thought. I wish you well. Its best to be upfront. I hope it goes well. All the best, Cindy
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A
female
reader, lotsofgiggles123 +, writes (16 April 2008):
 tell her! im sure she will understand if shes does not like you cause of the kid then she is the one missing out and probably tell her on the third date take to it to her slowly.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (15 April 2008):
 Look Hun if you do tell her that you have a son from a previous relationship and she does ditch you, then she is not worth dating. On the other hand she may admire your honesty and would like to take things further. So I would say honesty is the best policy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): You have to be up front with her and tell ASAP. You shouldn't hide the fact that you are a good dad, if anything this lady you like may just think more highly of you. There are a ton of dead beat dads out there. Be proud that you are a stand up dad.
good luck
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A
female
reader, vsnod +, writes (15 April 2008):
 I would tell her on this second date you are going on. There's no way of knowing if it will make her run, but if she does, then she is not the right person for you. Your son should really be the most important person in your life and if the girl you are dating doesn't want a kid around, she's just not the right person for you. Good luck, I hope this turns out well for you!
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