A
female
age
30-35,
*izfuturewife
writes:How can i get over my insecurities?Every time me and my boyfriend go out to anywhere out of our house i cant help but to think he's looking at all other girls. he's admitted to looking at other girls in the past but he says he hasnt really done it anymore at all. but i think he does i literally follow his eyes an if theres a female in the direction of his eye sight path i think he's checking them out. i hate that i think this, an i hate that it happensHow can i get over this insecurities?p.s.i dont wanna hear its ok if he looks at other females because to me its not, when he does or even when i think he does it hurts me, so no it's not ok. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (4 October 2010):
 I disagree with the male posters here. Out of respect for your gf/wife you should never in front of her oogle/check out or look at other women. Its disrespectful, causes confidence issues and takes away from bonding.
WAnting me and only me while checking out other women in front of me, does NOT make me feel that way. I doubt other women would feel that way also. Its a jerk thing to do.
Do it when she isn't around!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): NO! i dont agree [^^] I dont think its right for you boyfriend/husband to be following other girls. He shouldnt have to look or want to look if hes with you. its not right! And i can see your point your right in saying what you are.
If you notice him doing it id point it out to him n put him in his place. :]
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): You have a problem, but you are making it your boyfriends responsibility to solve.
You need to address your self esteem issues... look into therapy... or google cognitive behaviour therapy, it may help you.
Now, he may be looking at other women because he's a cheater... but that's a completely different problem to you feeling insecure about it (IMHO).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): Hey there!
In my opinion, its natural to be attracted to other women. I will tell you now im a one man one woman guy. Ive been in public before with my lady and always enjoyed the sight of other women. I never acted on it tho. I just liked to look cause I was attracted. At the end of the day, I always always ended up with her. Doesnt matter who I talked to. Doesnt matter who I looked at. I was faithful and honest with her about it and told her my feelings and when I told her "at the end of the day bit" that made her feel special, which she was, so after awhile she didnt care.
With insecurities, we need reassurance. Believe me I have a ton myself. Confront your BF about this gently and ask him if hes checking out other girls. ask him why. Then, go from there. Key is do not accuse him and have some sort of angry tone. This will make him very defensive. If he sees youre relaxed about it and calmly approach it, you will hopefully get a genuine answer and that answer being "babe I want you and only you"...:)...hope this helps.
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