A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have a problem with my guy, whenever we arrange to do something he always cancels. hes used many excuses till i got the truth out of him that he doesn't think i will love him when i do. ive tried to be supportive but im worried that what happens if this will remain forever. we used to be really good friends before we became an item. are we both wasting each others time being together if we hardly ever see each other? i don't know what to do Reply to this Question
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female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (26 July 2009):
 I was living that exact same story. I'm not with that guy anymore - I wanted security, he wanted freedom, it was never gonna work? Does that sound like you? Security V Freedom? Because if so then you would be better off with someone who wants the same as you - that's exactly what I did and now I'm the happiest girl in the world =]
A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (26 July 2009):
Its a common feeling, especially if you were mates before hand, try and be supportive i know its a huge strain on the relationship but hes insecure, that can work both ways so let him know our there if he needs to talk but at the same time remind him it needs to move forward or its the end, be firm yet kind in how you put this, dont damage his self esteem. He obviously feels hes not nough for you if you push him hell keep on falling, you dont want to do this to a person so give him the option, next time he cancels explain to him look this is becoming a habit i put myself out to see you and you dont bother?
Start it gentle working your way into it. I think theres more behind his excuses then hes letting on, its about time you got to the bottom of it or your well within your rights to end something that never really started due to his lack of commitment. Test it, let him decide a time date and venue, this way you have an argument, it was his idea!
If you still get nowhere maybe you need to move on, maybe this will help him become the person he once was.
Best of luck
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