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I have expectations which my boyfriend doesn't fulfill but the other man does

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 July 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 July 2009)
A female India age 36-40, anonymous writes:

i have a boyfriend who loves me a lot, and has sacrificed a lot for me too, like he quit his job which was 2500 kms away from me..but during that period, i met someone else who i was kind of attracted to..he bought me gifts (which my boyfriend never did), showered me with love (whereas my b.f hardly ever says 'i love you')and left his job in london..but i stopped seeing him when my boyfriend started doing all these things for me... but once i did, he stopped doing all this for me, saying it was temporary and if i really love him then i shouldnt try to change a single thing about him..i know love shouldn't be materialistic, but i have expectations from him, which are NEVER fulfilled..i find myself thinkng more and more about the other guy i rejected..what should i do??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009):

what should you do - how about relooking at your values. you see very materialistic and only choice your bf for what he could give you. speaks volumes of you - love or money? you decide. oh, and stop using the men in your life. you may just get a reputation of a good time girl who wants rewards for her sexaul favours. there is a name for for this, i am guessing you know the answer already.

perhaps also try growing up and being mature. your bf has given up a lot for you.he also left a good paying job in london for you. do you even deserve him. you should be in this realtionship because of love, affection, warmth, companionship, friendship and not only for material possessions. so please re evaluate your values. yes we all love gifts from our loved ones- but with you your expectation is a tad bit unreasonable.

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (26 July 2009):

Starlights agony auntyour current bf is right:

you need to love him for himself

and from what I read it sounds like you dont.

as for your ex things will always seem better because initially when people do start seeing each other there are gifts exchanged and "i love you's" exchanged,

its only after some time you found out if your compatible or not.

i think your bf does love you otherwise he wouldnt have bothered to leave his job and come closer towards you.

you need to ask yourself do you love him?

good luck

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