A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:when i first went out with this guy, i realized his the love of my life. he loved me for what i was. but then i was too possessive about him, and never gave him the space he wanted. and he too never complained until this came up during a fight, when it was not my mistake at all. he started saying things like am not the right girl for him, i wont keep him happy, all that stuff. he had also started to talk to another girl on the phone. he also started saying things like she ia better than me.and i couldn't stand it. i went to his house and begged to take me back. and then he took me in his arms and hugged me tight and said he wont talk to that girl again. and yes he didn't,and that he started it only because he couldn't find the girl in me he fell in love with. i returned home happily.since then whenever things went wrong between us, he starts giving me bad words and says he'll talk to that girl. and starts emotionally torturing me and asks me to leave him then i go crawling to him ask for forgiveness even if its not my mistake. then again things come to its place. and the vicious cycle continues. since then there have been lots of breakups and makeups. but i lost the person in him, who used to care for me and love me madly.recently after going through the internet i realized that every time i made a mistake by begging in front of him. that whenever he asks for a breakup i should accept and avoid keeping any contact with him, then he'll come crawling back to me. that when his alone he'll miss me, cause i left behind alot of sweet moments we shared together and many litle things i used to do for him. am sure he has not yet realized that as i never gave him a chance to think.this time this is what i did. i want him to realize that he still loves me and am the love of his life. i want him back at any cost. but am afraid me not talking to him will take him all more the far from me.thanks allot thousand times for your reply. and please dont ask me to leave him, i cant even think of that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): If you were being possessive and controlling over him and he said nothing... you were in charge. Then he had enough and dumped you, then you begged him to take you back. Suddenly the roles have switched and he became the one in charge. He may not have been serious about actually talking to this other girl when he threatened to. But it reminded you to check yourself and probably makes you be less possessive for a while and get off his back.You've made the right decision to stop begging for him to take you back. He's realized that he can manipulate you and that would never stop if you kept responding to his mind game the way that he wanted... by begging and pleading. Ironically, even when he gets what he wants, he respects you less and less each time... If you are just staying out of contact with him in order to win him back and believe that you two are destined to be together forever... that is a mind game in itself. Please take this breakup seriously... keep yourself busy, catchup with friends, try meeting new people, even date when you're ready. Just don't pin all your hopes on this guy magically wanting you back after a break. If you start thinking that its over for good and begin getting on with your life, even if he doesn't want you back... no big deal because you'll have your own life and haven't been hanging on to him in desperation. If he does call to catchup down the track, he'll see that you're having fun, are independent and don't need him to be happy. He'll find that infinately more attractive than someone who begs for forgiveness at the drop of a hat. Just realize that until you're actually prepared to move on and he recognizes that, he's not going to change and this relationship will never work. But that's just my two cents... I hope that you'll listen to somebody's advice on here because you really have put this boy on a pedestal that needs to be removed. I wish you the best of luck girl, be strong and stand up for yourself. Nobody is allowed to treat you this way, especially somebody who supposedly loves you. If nothing changes, please don't cling to him in desperation when you should be walking away, you'll just hurt yourself more. Best of luck :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): I agree with Laura..Ppl allow their lovers to take them for granted. Respect each other and your boundaries that will help you keep your love healthy
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (7 April 2010):
 Before , you crawled back to him and you give him too much power over you .How can he appreciate a good thing when you do that? You are just his doormat to wipe his dirty feet.
You have to stand your ground and let him crawl back to you because in reality he needs you more than you need him.
Either he comes back on your terms or you leave him. Have some backbone!
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