I want to end my marriage without trying as I don't love my husband

A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am 28 yrs married for 1 1/2 yr to a man I knew 2 yrs younger to me.We met 5 times and agreed on marriage.After marriage it took us 1 yr to ve a physical relationship as he was not trying enough, as my work hrs were long, as he never tried to relax me.Finally with help of my mother in law who called a Homely lady help (Quake) and inserted her fingers to check if all was normal.Due to some miracle we could make love the first time. Over the next 6 months we got close only twice that to he forced. I never enjoyed any relationship as he would nt talk, fight, not care, not emotionally or financially support, not take me out, use to take care of parents, not willing to take up nuclear family.I was from a metro city and now have moved to his home town (small place) as he lost his job. There was no compatability social, physical, emotional. I kept talking about how i feel but we regularly fought and slept.Later I learnt his family lied and they were in financial crisis. I paid my savings to him thinking that will change his attitude and get him closer to me. Inspite helping him he didnt change. I met a person on flight and due to bad wheather we drove back together. i lied about having an excellent married life but later in 2/3 days he realised I was lying. he is very intellegent, a little short tempered but expressed that he knows that i was not happy with my married life and that he wants to get married if he can. we spoke and agred that we should do this after I end my not working relationship.We only interacted on phone.My husband realised my not giving any more tries and getting busier. The day he read my sms I blankly confessed my love for my new friend. After to much fights and my confessing that i cant get over my riend he let me go. But pressurised my parents that I should return, I didnt start an extra martial affair or involve infidelity anywhere though we wanted to get close only emotionally. I spend a month together with my friend after parting from husband and realised we were different but he expressed how my hubby should have dealt with my fear.and what exactly any couple should have done to save marriage. I made up my mind to marry him after divorcing my hubby. Now my parents have left me in my husbands city as hisband and his family have accepted that he unintentionally allowed marriage to mess up and wanted to give it another try. My husband has been morale low..threatening suicide..and promises to have changed.I feel even staying with my hubby is cheating the friend i love. I dont want to try as I feel these things should have come naturally to him. My husband knows I am not attached but is asking for a months time to create attachment. What do I do..Dont want to try but my family is insisting as they are not aware of my plans. And me and my friend feels that we know each other for 60 days but family might feel i ruined married life to get close to my friend.

View related questions: affair, infidelity, lost his job

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