A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:dear cupids,whenever i'm with my 10 month boyfriend having sex and he sighs "i love you" i instantley remember a situation that happened between him and a girl he once slept with before me, in which he sighed to her "i love you" and she said that's a lie, so he said: "yes it is i'm just turning you on"so when ever he says i love u to me, only in bed, i am turned off for some reason and u get upset and i feel just like all the othersyou need to know that we are serious and i know he means it, but the thing is that it reminds me of his capability to have multirelations in the same time, he did that before me for years!i always fear that some one with such rich history with girls and wild sex will hit the buttom at some time and get bored of me no matter what positions and clothe i change!Knowing that we have talked about the sex routine fear thing! My question is:*should i tell him his i love you sigh reminds me of his x? If i did, may he remember her every time i sigh it? Should i just ask him to sigh my name instead or something??thank you for any ideas!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi, my boyfriend is the one who told me that situation along with many other situations in bed, we talk about everything related to our sexual life because we are both needy!and we have done many unique stuff, but only is this "i love you" sigh that ignores me!i will tell him to say it only if he really means it, but i need to know is it healthy to tell him what it reminds of? or should i ask him to change it without any further descriptions?thank you a lot for your help!!
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (31 March 2013):
 How do you know about this thing he did with his ex? Did he tell you this? Did his ex tell you this? It's unusual that you should know about these kinds of details about a sexual past.
If he told you about this ritual he did with his ex, then sure you can say something. Tell him when he sighs it to you, you remember his telling you the story about telling his ex that he only uses it to try to turn her on, and he didn't mean it.
In this case, his sighing "I love you" is a tool he uses to turn you and himself on. Nothing wrong with that, but who likes sloppy seconds? That would be like if he used a sweet nickname for her that was supposed to be a special thing between them, and him just re-naming you the same thing because he doesn't have the imagination to come up with a new one.
Tell him you want to try something new, with moves and things that he's never tried with other people. Since you know about what happened between him and his ex in bed, tell him you want him to say something that's unique to just you.
However, if your boyfriend wasn't the one who told you the story, and it was his ex who told it to you, how do you know she's not saying that just to get under your skin? There are so many people on here who would give anything just to actually hear the words "I love you" from their boyfriends! If that's the case, and you didn't hear this story from him, but rather from her or someone else, then don't do anything and question the motives of the one who told you.
Otherwise, if he told you this story, then tell him that you love to hear "I love you", but only if he means it, and you'd love to hear things in bed that are unique to only you and no other.
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