A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so, I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. The time has come in which I don't no if I'm happy. The thing is it's easy for people to say well leave. If it was that easy I doubt most marriages would last beyond this time period. We argue... a lot. Mostly about silly stuff. He thinks I ask too many questions about his past and his relationships. Maybe I do. Is it the age difference, 12 years to be exact. I'm 22 and he's 34. In some ways were the same person and then there are times we are so far apart. The old saying of 'opposites attract' can sometimes be questioned. Yes I'm 22, but I know life isn't all partying etc. I've lived. I know hardship possibly more than most. Through it all I'm strong, I laugh when uncomfortable or nervous which he takes as me being childish. Regardless of the fact I'm strong he knows my weaknesses. He could make me cry in a second. And when I do he says I'm glad your crying. I suppose my question is this. When you know that your the one person they have. When you know without you they may do something stupid. When you know that they know, you have less to loose then they do. Would you leave?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 March 2015):
 OP said: “And when I do he says I'm glad your (sic) crying.”
My husband is an idiot. But he would never say “I’m GLAD you’re crying” that’s just cruel and mean.
“ I suppose my question is this. When you know that your the one person they have. When you know without you they may do something stupid. When you know that they know, you have less to loose then they do. Would you leave?”
Are you staying because you are happy? NO
Are you staying because you love him ? NO
I know that I’m the only person my husband has. I know without me he would be stupid and self destructive. I Know I have WAY less to lose than he does. I also know that without me his life would suck. Guess what… I’d leave him in a heartbeat if he was not working towards improving his life, and our marriage. I am responsible for myself and he is responsible for him.
YOU are not the one who is responsible for another person. If you leaving him because he behaves badly leaves him doing stupid stuff. OH well that’s a consequence of his behavior.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 March 2015):
 This is WHY you don't marry the first guy that comes along. THERE is a HUGE difference from a relationship and a LONG-TERM relationship.
Having been married for 17 years (19 together)I can honestly say that we RARELY fight. We don't agree on EVERYTHING but we BOTH know how to compromise and work though any issues. If he did NOT make me happy the first couple of years I WOULD NEVER have married him. EVER.
Sometimes we date people who ARE NOT a good fit. YOU and him? NOT a good fit at all. So staying because leaving is "too easy" is like SHOOTING yourself in the foot to avoid a walk in the woods. Not very smart.
Relationships that turn INTO long-term relationship do NOT have ALL this crappy drama in the first couple of years. Doesn't mean crap and/or drama doesn't happen but what (in my book) determine if a relationship will turn into a long-term (or marriage) is HOW GOOD of a match you are, how WELL you work together, communicate with each other, solve issues and compromise.
Yours doesn't sound like an even and healthy relationship SO WHY stick it out? Because you think the longer you stick it out the better it can become? That is like betting with your eyes closed.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 March 2015):
 Oh yes. If I had married a jerk that can make me cry in a second ( i.e. knows my feeble points, my weaknesses and uses them to fight dirty and hit below the belt ), then he says : I am GLAD you are crying ( ! ) , I would leave his cruel insensitive ass in HALF a second.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (21 March 2015):
I too don't really understand a lot if what you said, so I'll just keep my answer a little general.
Long term happy relationships are very difficult. They take work, communication, understanding, etc. I don't see your relationship lasting and u don't see it being happy. You've been together for a short period of time and it's already falling apart. What hope is there for your future?
Leave him and find someone who makes you happy, not someone who you're Dependant on.
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (21 March 2015):
 I'm not quite understanding your post here. Yes, I agree that lasting relationships don't come easily.. it takes communication, understanding, sacrifice, compromise, and everything else. However, in your situation, to be arguing so much within the short time you've been together would raise a red flag for me. The both of you should still be in the lovey dovey honeymoon phase. Have you ever considered this to be a personality compatibility issue? You may not be right for each other?
What do you mean by the last part of your post? Are you saying that he can't live without you? Is it due to a medical condition or are you assuming?
If it's a medical condition, you can alert family members or social workers. Otherwise, I think it might hurt him a bit, but he will recover.
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