A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help! I need some advice.I met a guy a week ago. We swapped numbers. He is very sweet, caring and cute! We have been talking and texting and have agreed to go out in a weeks time.Now, I am a virgin, and have not dated for a long time. I really like this guy. My question is, when would he expect sex? And how long would it be acceptable to wait before sleeping with him? I dont want to look like a tramp or be too easy, but equally I dont want to rush it. Thanks
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female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (28 November 2010):
 Two or three months should be enough time to get to know each other as well as show you're not a cheap tart, but it's impossible for me to know how long he'll wait because everyone is different. That's why your own comfort is so important. I've dated men that were respectful and willing to wait several months, and others that wanted to rush into it right away and lost interest once it was clear I wasn't going to sleep with them on the second date, but I suppose the average amount of time before most men start to get bored would be about four to five months. Only you can figure it out by paying attention to his behaviour, though.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionxanthic - for me, if I am dating, I am exclusive. Thats it. I am not a fan of this multi-dating game. A man either wants to go out with you, or he doesnt, hedging his bets by seeing multiple women suggests that he is a player.
I do understand all the stuff about waiting for sex etc etc etc... BUT my question was how long would he wait before giving up and getting bored?
Its not about IF I want to do it, I do and find him incredibly sexy... I just do not want to be thought of as a cheap tart by sleeping with him too quickly.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (28 November 2010):
Personally, I think you should wait until you become exclusive. Whether you do that or not, the most important thing is to wait until you're absolutely certain. It could take one month or six months, but in the end it all depends on what you feel comfortable with. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): hey
Im in a very similar situation to you hun.
One answer that comes to mind is tlak to him about it, but maybe that would be losing an air of mystique and you don't know him well enough yet.
Hoever if you want to lose your virginity to someone special and in a good circumstance, surely you should be able to talk about these things first anyway.
Well thats the big question Im trying to decide!
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