| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: My new husband is incredibly jealous, he keeps checking my phone, isolating me from friends, and last night, when he saw a phone call to another man (the person who I buy boat parts from, which he knew I was ordering!), he now accuses me of cheating on him. I am happy and committed to our marriage and will leap over small buildings to make this work, but I have now put security settings on my phone to keep him from checking it nightly, which I am sure is going to put him over the edge. I just want this to stop. Guys, when is this going to end?
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 The most important thing is to hold your ground. If you begin to crack he'll see it as proof that he's correct or justification his actions are warranted. He has to know, in no uncertain terms, that you will not put up with his games. He needs to know you will not pay a price for a crime you did not commit. You must stop this now as it will only get worse. Assure him you love him and he's the only one you want. Be gentle and FIRM.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008): Talk to him and put his mind at rest and let him know that you cannot go on like this. You are not going to cheat on him. Has he had a bad experience in the past? Maybe an ex has put him through the mill. You need to let him know that you are not like this and never will be. If he continues then he has to know that this will in time push you away. Jealousy is a bad thing, which a lot of people suffer, but it can be manageable with effort, patience and time. You need to talk to him.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, PeterPan  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 Jealousy stems from a real or perceived inadequacy. What your husband's specific issues are... well, the only person that can answer that is him. I'm thinking that you need to get him to concede that he has an issue and needs to find the source of his problem and work through them. It probably means that he needs to seek professional assistance: a councilor or psychiatrist.
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