A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I've been dating this girl for nearly a year, we get along very well, finish each other's sentences and all that, lovey-dovey kind of couple.I swore I would not be like that in another relationship, but.. here we are, lol. Anyway here's my question:She's a virgin, and to be honest, I've never dated one before. Before this, I've only had one other relationship, and only had sex with just one girl; and I didn't even have to try/or ask for it, it just happened. I've been offered sex before from other women, but I'd turn them down obviously because I don't even know them. The point is, I have no idea how to propose the question of sex, I've only had to say yes or no to other women! My girlfriend enjoys making out with me, she's a little clingy occasionally, she likes to be touched but, I imagine, she doesn't know how to bring it up with me either, or, is too ashamed/shy to ask for it or admit she enjoys it. She comes off rather conservative, but I know inside she'd just like to have fun.Currently, I'm still really happy with her; I know there's such a thing as too much sex (like I did with my ex) and I was never really all that happy. This girl is the right girl for me (right now), I don't know what will happen in the future, so that's all I can say. Point is that, the relationship is great even without sex, but, I think it'd be a lot of fun for us both if we could, y'know, we could like, do it (LOL, say that last line out loud, it's funny). Anyway, how do we take the next step? We both still live at home, so location is somewhat a problem, but I don't know how to propose taking her somewhere "private" without sounding a sleaze ball/scaring her/making her think i'm in it for the sex. I just feel like, this is the right kind of relationship where I should be intimate with her, because it's not just about sex, but it could really enhance what we already have. I don't know how to explain it, but it's not just my dick talking, how's that ;) Thanks for your help! Anything is appreciated. Later!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008): I just like to put in the best peace of doubt i can how should i know though it just might be true.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your help. And that last guy, thanks for telling it to me straight, lol.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008): Maby she thinks your a nice guy but dosnt know how to brake it to you that she wants her virginety taken by a vergin so she does not know know how to tell you your not the right match.
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A
female
reader, Star_07  +, writes (10 May 2008):
 Thats a tough situation. For one, if you're the one to make the move, it could be good or it could be bad. I think the best thing is talk about it. And not when you two are in the midst of getting hot together. I mean, have a serious talk with her. First, tell her how you feel about her, what you love/like about her. And then ask how she feels about having sex. Make her feel comfortable talking about it. If she isnt ready then tell her that you want the communication to be open about everything, not just sex and that when she is ready, to not be afraid to bring it up. If she does say no, make sure you tell her that you love/like her and nothing will change.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (10 May 2008):
 thats lovely to hear.so refreshing carry on like you are sex isnt that important.get wed and see wot happens.or you could have a normal life choice is yours
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A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (10 May 2008):
Shes lucky shes found someone so considerate! You say sex with your first girlfriend 'just happened', well isnt it possible that it could 'just happen' again?
If location is a problem, you could always suggest a weekend away together? It'd be romantic without being sleazy at all. Wait until the moment feels just right and do what feels natural.
Alot of people make the mistake of having sex before a relationship, so the fact you have been together a year shows you have a very solid relationship.But,ofcourse, its only human of you to want to become sexual.
Talk to her if you can, ask her what her feelings are. If you do decide to have a romantic break, she'll probably know what it will entail. Don't be afriad, she already loves you and will understand.
Good luck
xxx
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