A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Has any guy ever been to my position;being a virgin and never dated any girl because insecurity,being scared of approaching or talking to girl you like,or even not knowing how tell her how you feel.This is something I just can't figure out how to make it go out of my life and talk to woman I like freely,instead a dark cloud keeps getting to me:my heart beat fast,the thoughts of what I'm going to say,how to say it and what happens if she rejects me keeps coming to my head everytime when I move towards her,(any girl I like).It is so depressing when I see people at my age in their relationships and what they do as couples,that also includes my friends.I just don't know how it doesn't happen to me,why I can't overcome this shadow or dark cloud so I can connect,click and talk to freely to woman so I can be with her and experience things with her.when or at what time will I have the power to talk with woman just like a normal guy?why do I always have this fear and negativity to whats showing a girl that I like her Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 You have no confidence in yourself and you are over thinking everything. Before you even talk to a girl or ask her out, you start over analysing everything and thinking about what if's in your head and then you lose confidence and lose nerve and that is why your voice goes shaky and you get nervous. You just need to build up your self esteem and your confidence. Learn to talk to girls as you would to men. Don't look at a girl in a romantic way but instead set yourself a challenge of trying to make her one of your friends, just like one of the boys. Talk to her like you would to a friend. She is just a human being at the end of the day, smile, be polite ask her how she is, ask her about herself and get to know her a little before you ask her out. Talk to her and get more comfortable around her and this will give you more confidence to ask her out. Don't give up just push yourself.
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Well your situation is not as uncommon as you may think. Many guys have problems approaching women. Either it's because of fear, or they just don't know how to do it.
My advice to you is to start getting comfortable TALKING to women. Just strike up a conversation without any other goal in mind but to talk. This should put less pressure on yourself- as you already know that there's no rejection involved if you're just communicating. And when you build up your confidence in comfortably talking to them, you can then start giving compliments. Now, you're not looking to get their number in this situation, you're just showing flattery. This should also take away the fear of being rejected.
I would also suggest you read some confidence builder articles/books, practice breathing techniques/meditation to help relax you more, and read these articles that I've written...
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-approach-a-girlthe-right-way.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what--women-want-most-from-a-guy.html
Best of luck to you!
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