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writes: Me and my boyfriend have been having problems latly, and when arguing, he starts calling me fat, lazy, messed up and other hurtful things. I have got a bad attitude problem. Is he saying all this stuff because I make him?? Reply to this Question
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (23 April 2005):
 No, I think he is more than likely saying all these things because he is trying to hurt you and he simply isn't very nice! Do you insult him? Because if you don't, why should he you? Try asking him in a quieter moment if he honestly means the things he says for it confuses you as to why he would be with you if he feels that way.There are far better ways of saying things if we have something on our mind. He isn't showing you the respect that you deserve.It isn't you, he has the problem, he appears to have the bad attitude. You could try couple counselling if you want your relationship to work or talking to him and suggesting that he stops the insults when arguing. Better still, to find ways to cease the arguments all together and to speak quietly and calmly to each other without allowing heightened emotions to overrule. I know this is easier said than done but you need to make him aware of how much he is hurting you.I hope this helps.
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reader, Last Kiss +, writes (23 April 2005):
You mentioned that you have got a very bad attitude problem. Have you ever tried to change for the better? Is this the main reason why you guys argue? If yes you need to change as your boyfriend sees this as the root of the problem. Probably what he didn't see is he makes it worse by saying hurtful things. It takes two to tango. So get rid of that bad attitide problem of yours & I'm quite sure your boyfriend won't say all those hurtful things again.Trying to change is quite difficult but you've got to try as it will not only make you a better person but also save your relationship with your boyfriend. Good luck!
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