A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:need some advice from you cupid expertshas anyone been through or experienced this?When im with my gf everything is fine but soon as we are apart it becomes choas/depression and just instability.Soon as we are apart she goes into these wierd moods, very very emotional, kind of clingy but to not to clingy, has paranoia issues, says she loves me forever then few days later says she wants to give up, then few hours later she says she will never give up lol, pretty much just all over the shop, HOWEVER when we are TOGATHER in PERSON, everything is great, stable, fun, both never want to leave eachothers side, its just when we both have to go home, thats when it becomes messed up. Now we have nver broken up or anything and planning to move in, but do you think these issues stem from something i dont know about? she said she gets like this only cuz we are apart, but could it be something more, jsut want to here from others if they experience this with there partners, when togather everything is fie, but when apart it becomes all effed up, pretty much haha Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (13 June 2012):
 She can't go a day or two without having you in her presence? Well...I am wavering back and forth on my answer because I'm half-way between saying she's insecure and saying she's normal. Although, I am very hesitant to say this is normal because she SHOULD be able to go without you in her presence for a few days. If she has ever been hurt before and had someone leave her, she could have issues with that. Everytime you are not in her presence she could be thinking you are going to leave her for good. I know this is abnormal thinking, but that is really the way she could feel. It is obsessive thinking, basically. On the other hand, if you have a good relationship normally and are consistently communicating...she should be able to feel the connection with you regardless of whether you are in her presence of not. Honestly, I think I would ask her why she feels the way she does because you cannot realistically be there for her 24/7. See what she says. She could really have an issue with depression/anxiety because it seems like that is what she is experiencing when you are not physically there. Whatever the reason, she cannot expect you to stay in a relationship like this for long. I would never move in with someone with an issue like this until it is resolved. This is something that is an issue with her not you. Moving in will not solve it because you will still have to go to work and you will still need to have your own interests. You simply cannot be in someone's presence every minute of everyday.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2012): Your girlfriend sounds like me in a way. my situation is that i work hard at a stressful in the city on a tiny wage and long hours leaving me worn out a lot of the time, i live at home due to the lack of money and my mother and i have not got a good relationship and often argue. i have recently had 2 family berevements and i've been unwell. however amongst all this craziness and moodswings as soon as i was with my boyfriend of 15 months everything disappeared and i could relax. yes i would imagine that there is something going on, however i wouldnt push her to say what, just suggest offhand that your always there if she wants to talk and this plants the seed in her mind and she can bring up if there is something wrong in her own time rather than being forced to. Her mood swings do seem a more extreme so i would take hints from what she is saying also.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2012): I would say she is severely insecure. When you are together she feels reassured as to how you feel about her but when you're apart she feels completely insecure and uncertain about how you feel about her. I don't know where this stems from for her, but I think moving in actually might help and give her the reassurance she needs. hopefully.
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