A
female
age
30-35,
*wordandredrose
writes:I always get a lot of attention from guys and have never felt insecure about anything. But recently I've realized that guys start looking at me differently as soon as they find out I am a Muslim. I live/study in Christian society so pretty much every single guy that I meet or have a crush on is Christian or Jewish. All guys have ever wanted from me has been sex or other stuff (all of which I have always rejected). I have absolutely no problem with dating a Christian or Jewish but I feel like THEY do have a problem with it. Do you think this might be true?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (23 September 2012):
 often it is just Ignorance that leads to people behaving in this inappropriate way.If you find people suggesting rubbish about any group in any society then some verifiable facts and figures can often cause people to question their previous views. Be those views evidence of racism or sexism or anti any particular religion.I am a Christian but I never like to see any group marginalised due to ignorance. Nor vilified based on faulty arguments.Here are some facts to demolish the anti Islam lobby:http://www.loonwatch.com/2010/01/not-all-terrorists-are-muslims/The above web site demonstrates that the lies of who are the terrorists is easily demolished.About 6% of all terrorists are Muslim. The other 94% are not Muslim.http://www.loonwatch.com/2010/01/terrorism-in-europe/the second link above is even more scathing – quoting FBI figures to demolish the Sensation-seeking Press who want all to think that most Terrorists are followers of Islam and the Press find it easy to keep on repeating the incorrect figures.The Press of today are very lazy. They often plagiarise each other’s stories and repeat published accounts that are poorly researched or in some cases not attributed. And Press in ALL countries are not above performing as the Propaganda hand-maidens of the current In-Power Political group - be it Centre, Centre Left, Moderate, Centre Right, Right, extreme Right, Left, Extreme Left. and any 'ism' you care to mention. Why people just blindly accept propoganda I do not know. But history has proved time and time again that blindly following propaganda can lead to appalling outcomes for good people. Though for some regimes they offer the people no option but to follow - such as atrocities that PolPot did allow, support by his actions and encourage in his country.Some countries have two political parties (one in power over the other one that lacks the numbers to be in power) where both parties are the same - for instance both right wing or both left wingYet neither party is much different to the other - including that the the religious profile for most of their members is almost identical in both parties, once research is done, and this member profile makes it obvious that neither party is much different to the others.There have been and still are cruel regimes all over the world and they are of all religions and some of no religion.Terrorists hide behind the banner of a religion to give themselves some validity.But they are Terrorists.Some of their attrocities appall the majority of citizens of the world, due to how bad their attrocities are. However if you only rely on the published press reports you will miss out on the truth. Newspapers are now in the business of entertaining the masses, not informing the people. That’s why I seek out overseas newspapers and blog sites and any books or quarterly publications I can find to get the real truth.Racism is sometimes encouraged by people with an Agenda. But in many instances it is ignorance and not being properly informed that leads to people repeating the Big Lie often enough that others some to believe The Big Lie.
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (23 September 2012):
 Hi,
People generally have different views about religions so this is a tough one. Because of compatibility issues some Jews, Muslims or Christians might prefer to be with their own kind or be with someone who is ready to learn about their religion, others who are less religions might not really care. Families also be part of the religion equation on whom one is to date especially if one is from a very religions home.
When a religions guy discovers you are a Muslim they may be afraid of what your family might think of them if the relationship becomes serious,What their family might think of you, will you respect each other religion choices when the relationship does become serious or would you want them to change their religion, would you change your religion for them. For a less religion guy they might not really care about what religion you are but if your family will accept them or you not involving them in your religion.
Not wanting to have sex with guya is a smart thing.In terms of your religion it might be more difficult to find a guy who would wait until a commitment or marriage before having sex but i have seen this happen and if a sincere guy really loves he will understand and respect you for it.
All the best
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 September 2012):
 Well, it could be out of sheer prejudice , of course.
But it's not just that - things are objectively difficult between a Christian man ( I don't know about the Jewish guys ) and a Muslim girl.
To begin with, you are supposed to keep your virginity ntil the wedding night. The funny thing is that Christians too are supposed to follow this tule , but in practice the two groups don't take it as seriously.
I know tons of Muslims ( they are 15 % of the population in my hometown ) and I must say that most of the girls take this virginity thing very scrupulously and seriously, and when they don't it causes lots of drama, at time tragedy, in their life and family.On the other end, I can literally say that I have NEVER met a Catholic guy ( I live in a predominantly Catholic country ) who had saved himself for marriage. It's just not as important, or forbidden,- there is no social stigma, and even the religious one is very mild, a sort of " boys will be boys " ( and girls will be girls of course )
It makes sense that a Christian guy won't be so enthusistic to date a girl he can't have sex with , ever - Not after 6 months of relationship , not after 2 years... just if and when they marry, which could be ten years from now.
Which leads me to the second obstacle, and btw this is what makes your question really surprising , I mean, if you really are a Muslim, what do you even care about attracting Christian guys ? You KNOW that as a Muslim woman you can ONLY marry a Muslim man ( but Muslim guys can marry Christian women ). No way you can do otherwise- unless you are ready to ditch your religious affiliation, of course . But in which case, I doubt you can even really identify yourself as a Muslim.
The only way would be if your future husband would accept to convert, which is a solution which does not appeal to most people, and even less to people who does not even know you yet and is not crazily in love with you , right off the bat.
In short, there's no future with a Muslim girl if things should become serious and intense. Most guys know that and prefer to avoid the heartbreak, the complications, ( and the furious Muslim fathers ).
Mind you , I am not talking about Iran or Afghanistan, I am talking of a liberal, Western, industrial kind of society where Muslim girls dress western, wear make up, drive cars, work, even live on their own. But, when you get to the sensitive points, virginity and marriage, the core beliefs have not changed and are not changing, at least for those who take their religious affiliaton seriously.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2012): I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I'm a Christian woman and my best friend is a Muslim girl. Our religious views are very different and she often explains things in a very different way to the way I was bought up to see things but it causes us no problems. If anything she is far more loving and genuinely giving than me. Since university she has lived with a Christian boy and she remarks that people do make comments about her relationship and often are not that nice to her. She thinks people see her as a terrorist and are slightly wary which upsets her no end. She also refuses to use her surname because people will automatically know she is Muslim and they will hold it against her. I am so sorry that you are experiencing this and all I can say is surround yourself by people who know you and are kind and leave anyone who does not treat you properly well alone.
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