| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My relationship with my girlfriend broke up just before Christmas. She was unable to let go of a relationship she had with her violent and abusive ex. I objected to her seeing him as I felt that it was derogatory to our relationship. A friend of mine saw them out together, when she told me she had been going out for the evening with a female friend. This really hurt, as she tried to lie her way out of it. A couple of days later, her mobile rang and she asked me to see who it was. I went to missed calls and saw it was him. I also looked in recieved calls and she had been talking to him several times for hours since they had the meeting.She said that she still wasn't over her ex, but even more so her previous ex before him. 'That was the life I should have had', she said. She also said that she loved me, but not enough to do what she was doing. I feel like a fool. I tried so hard to understand, but know I was in denial. I wanted to split last August when we came back from a holiday and she said that she was meeting up with a guy she had been in contact with from the dating site where we met. She insisted that they were just friends, but it was, in my opinion, a jealousy game. She would always come in after going out telling me how many other men had chatted her up or came on to her.I know I should have got out sooner (much sooner), but I stayed in it. Any tips on how to get over this?
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broke up, christmas, her ex, jealous, violent Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (3 January 2007):
 First, I hope you HAVE gotten out of this relationship. This woman sounds toxic, and addicted to drama. Not something anyone needs in their life unless it is a good kind of drama. She sounds emotionally damaged, and is projecting her own hurt on to you by hurting you with her actions and her words. Tell yourself "I know how she is and who ever the ass is that has her now isn't getting the great bargain he thought he was getting." Chalk this one up to a learning experience, use this relationship to determine what you DON'T want and move on to a much better one in the future. Give yourself time to get over feeling hurt and angry, and then get right back out on the market and find a woman that is worthy of you.
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