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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi there,I am feeling very down. Perhaps partly post xmas blues, but made worse by the fact I like someone still who I don't think wants me. I am 25 and xmas has been good with all my friends etc.I was seeing a guy perhaps I should not have got involved with, as the week I met him I had just split up with my ex and we were together nearly 4 years! I think I may have been quite vulnerable.I proceeded on with this guy I had met as he seemed so nice and he helped take my mind off my ex and what had happened. I did start to really like him. A week afer he told me that he really liked me and wanted me to meet some of his family he backed off dramactically then it seemed to fizzle out. WE slept together after a month of dating so don't think it was too soon. He then told me a couple of weeks ago it wasn't working out for him but it had taken him so long to tell me this, almost a month! He then took off for xmas to go away on his own and he is back today. I have been ok but now I know he is back and I may run into him I am feeling really down in the dumps and have been thinking of him a lot.He didn't really give me a reason for why it wasn't working, and said there was no point in talking about it!! I didn't contact him at all after and am not going to. I am just worried if I see him out he may be with someone else and it will hurt. Just don't understand that he was so nice and then suddenly turned. He was rude and arrogant when he met with me to tell me it wasn't working,had shaved all his hair off and looked really scruffy! Previously he had always looked smart and was such a gentleman. He is a few years older than me. Why do you think this has happened? :(xx
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male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (3 January 2007):
 Hi. Sorry to hear of your condition. My girlfriend of 1 year just dumped me after New Years (she needed her space - LOL), so I can relate.
There could be a number of reasons why he lost his fire for you. To try and figure it out can drive you crazy. He probably decided to start over with a new look, to see what reaction he gets. He may be starving for attention, who knows. Just get back in the saddle and look for new horizons. I just enrolled in Graduate School, to get me into a change of scene and to advance my career options.
Good luck to you!
A
female
reader, Lilly223 +, writes (3 January 2007):
 Sounds to me like this guy wasn't presenting his REAL self to you and was unable to keep up the charade any longer. You say that he looked smart, was a gentleman, and introduced you to his family, yet when he came by to break things off with you, he was very different, (you say, scruffy, rude, and arrogant.) Personally, I would chalk this one up as a learning experience, take some time to get over your previous relationship, come to terms with the one that just ended, and really think about what you want in your next relationship. This isn't the end of the world, we all have to "Kiss a few Frogs, to find our Prince." This guy just happened to be a frog in Prince's clothing.
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