A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When should a crush subside and you stop thinking about them? I have barely seen this guy, and it's been like 9 weeks! I keep dreaming about him. We never went but i sensed sexual tension. Should I stop or just wait until i see him again and be more flirty?
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female
reader, OuttaTime88  +, writes (30 June 2014):
 It's pointless to think of him all the time if you are not going to do anything about it. So yes, talk to him. Be flirty, but just enough to find out if he is interested. Don't go overboard in case he isn't.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2014): Crushes are childish; unless you back them up with adult behavior. Infatuating on someone from a remote distance is okay; but when you let it go on an on, that's fixating. If you can't manage or control it, that's an obsession.
If that person has no idea you're attracted to them, what is the point of even wasting brain-matter over someone you like, and will not approach? It's silly.
Kids and teenagers can get away with it; because it takes time to develop the interpersonal skills needed to confidently approach someone and introduce ourselves. They fear rejection, or not knowing what to say. Shyness is okay as long at it isn't crippling. We overcome shyness by facing our fears head on. Taking the risk and accepting the consequences. Smart risks, reap great rewards!
You gain some resistance against the sting of rejection; when you force yourself to overcome your fears. With practice, the rejection doesn't get so personal. You learn to accept it as just a part of dating. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
You have to approach the guy and flirt, then chat up a conversation to draw his attention. If he ignores you, or shows no interest; your subconscious is likely to dismiss the crush and you'll move on.
Our minds are designed to move on when we have a desire we cannot fulfill. If we can't move on, we should seek professional counseling to find out why we can't control our fixations.
Grownups take risks. Either you fail or succeed. You won't succeed if you fail to try.
Go talk to the guy and see what's up!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 June 2014):
I think for your own sake it would be best to try and find out if he's remotely interested in you. You've not seen him, but you still fancy him, so maybe when/if you see him again you should just jump in and talk to him. If nothing else, you'll know how he feels and you'll know where you stand.
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