A
female
age
30-35,
*nique-angel
writes:I'd like your advice and i'd be grateful if any male could also give me advice and women :). i'm curently chattin with a guy hes 24 i'm 18. its been nearly a month and we have had lots of arguments mostly my fault and we always make up....but its because of this i think he is worth everything. he is the most nicest guy ever. he forgives me when im angry but i'm wondering when would you say is the best time to go deep with a guy.i mean tell him the biggest secret in your life..he's in germany right now and on his last day we fell out but made up and had a heart to heart and there are so many feelings we have for eachother. hes understanding and hes the only one i've ever met that i feel i can move away from my pasti was abused by my father when i was 12-15 and when i was 14-17 i nearly got abused by a peadophile. i say nearly as we were in our last stage me 14/turn into 15 and he was 45 when we started talking. he became a "friend" found out my weaknesses and where i was vulunerbale and worked upon that. but because i had slowly talked to 3 of my best friends i did not feel as isloated and was able to get away from him slowly.But that was by chance as i only told my friend for 12 year's about it yesterday.these things, they have hurt me and i've nrver been able to trust a bloke for a long time.until i started talking to my cousion and slowly i've decided my past does not indicate who i will be. i trust leigh and care for him. but i'm wondering because my past can some times cause tension between us. like i said its my fault when we fall out. im sure that if i tell him about me, the whole me then i won't feel like im not being honest i don't know hard to say.but we are in our early stages he just left for germany 2days ago, hes in the army and he liked it when i said i'd wait for him because hes the best person . but i don't know if maybe it's too deep me emailing him this now. obv its going to be more in detail but exact then what i've wrote here and its going to take alot of guts.so what i mean to ask is...its only been a month but because some times due to my insecurites from my past we fall out and i've put him through so much and hes always been there for me and i've told him i'm always there for him i mean everythin i say. should i tell him about my past if so should i wait for a little time because it might seem that i've being to ful on as he's only left...or should i wait for valentines day or should i leave that to be sweet. sounds childish but means alot.thanks for reading this anywaysxx
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female
reader, unique-angel +, writes (4 February 2009):
unique-angel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit was good i never told him he wasn't worth itended up being a complete b*****d
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2009): I agree with pvtguy that you take the time that your boyfriend is away and make peace with your issues.
i think it is really important that you dont be embarrassed and ashamed of your past. remember, you were the victim and you didnt cause these things to happen to you. your boyfriend, if he cares as much as he does will understand.
tell him in person when you are ready but please dont be embarrassed.
trust is probably a big factor for you and you have to feel that you can fully trust anyone before you open up so dont pressure yourself to do so.
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A
female
reader, unique-angel +, writes (31 January 2009):
unique-angel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for givin me your advice and it does make sense.but i just want to add some thing i didn't write which i think is important, its that he's not going to be back in the uk until next year so msn email is our only contact.sounds sad but it is:(xx
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A
male
reader, 24yeahright  +, writes (31 January 2009):
Just wait until the time is right... no need to force it.Especially not over email.. that's a silly idea :)If you guys are the real deal then it's going to come out eventually.
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