A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My partner and i split up 3 weeks ago due to a major argument which is in his words 'beyond repair'. i love him dearly and can't imagine life without him. i bombarded him with texts and phone calls which obviously pushed him away and last week he said leave me alone for a week and then i'll call you. he makes me angry and upset because everything is always on his terms. he said he doesn't think about me much whereas he's on my mind constantly. i really didn't think he would call but he did when he said he would (yesterday morning) - i didn't answer and am yet to call him back because i've been desperate enough. last week he said he doesn't love me anymore and will never be any hope of us getting back together. what i don't understand is that i've stopped harassing him so if he really didn't want anything more to do with me then why we he call? if i called him and he didn't want to talk then wouldn't he just tell me to f off? last week he was on about changing his number so i really wasn't expecting a call - i thought he was just saying it to get me off of the phone. when should i call back? is this part of his mind games?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): I think he called you because he told you that he would and he seems to want to be in control of you and the relatshionship.I don't know what exactly happened between you two to cause a break up, but from what he said to you, the relationship is over, and he was pretty clear about that.If he calls you it is most likely out of guilt and to check to see that you are OK.You can answer is phone call if you want to and tell him that you'll live and to ask him to stop contacting you that you need time to get over him and you would appreciate him respecting your feelings on that.And then if I were you, I would stop contacting him or following him on Facebook or asking any of your friends about him and start accepting the fact that this didn't work out between you for what ever reasons. It doesn't mean you aren't a great girl or that he is a complete jerk, although from the way you state things, you seem like a better person than he is....He sounds controlling, selfish, low in empathy, self centered...all those things do not make for a happy relationship with anyone.It's time to begin to focus on yourself and make any changes that you think you need to make and start to achieve some goals that you had put aside because of him. When you feel better, start to go out on some casaul dates, but I wouldn't start a new relationship for at least several months so you don't rebound and hurt someone else or yourself all over again.Take care, we've all been there, every last one of us.
A
male
reader, bernymac  +, writes (13 July 2010):
Honestly.. You're older and much wiser than that to be messing around a playing with games. If you do really care about him, tell him what you think, in a firm way. And that you're not going to stick around and take his crap. And I don't see what you're trying to achieve by trying to by not picking up his phone call? You assumed he wouldn't call, but he did; I don't see why you didn't pick up? You really should have. It could have been important. Guys only say they "don't want anything more to do with you" as their angry. You'll find that they'll come around. Call back ASAP.
I am sure you deserve better and theres another guy out there that would make you happy.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, jodie-alice-x +, writes (13 July 2010):
 Babe, don't call him back not now, not next week, not ever. If he's never going to love you, he never did and he never will. So there is no point in setting yourself up for that much heartache, be brave sweetheart seriously and just give yourself some space from him and don't get in contact with him because all he's doing is hurting you. Just shed some tears, grab the tissues and hold your head up high. You can do so much better than this guy, even if you are in love with him. No joke about it, you're a much better person than he will ever be. Just look after yourself sweetheart and everything will look better in a few weeks, I promise.
-Jodie x
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