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anonymous
writes: I'm a man in my late forties, been a widower for nearly ten years. My wife and I loved each other a lot. Two years ago I got my first girlfriend (a younger divorcee) since my wife; and we were properly together for about a year. A year ago she decided to dump me but we both wanted to stay friends. All the time since then I've been very keen to get back together -I feel that I love her. But she's felt differently about it from one week to the next. Sometimes she's really friendly and then suddenly she loses all interest for a couple of weeks then gets friendly again. This has happened continuously for the whole of this last year. The thing is, when she gets friendly, we normally end up having sex. This means a lot to me since I've not had sex otherwise in ten years! At those times I always feel that she loves me (she says so sometimes) and that the relationship is going somewhere at last, but again and again within a week or two, she doesn't have time to or want to see me.Am I a fool for expecting her to change and really want to commit to me? Should I forget about her? If so how do I do it? I've met lots of other women in the last year - on internet dates - but haven't found anyone that I want to be with like my (ex-)girlfriend.Advice please!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2005): I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I personally think that this woman is Using you. Whenever she is feeling in the mood, she comes knocking on your door. In the weeks she has been "cold" I'd say she has been out looking for someone to take her on, problem being she hasnt found anyone to fill that void so she keeps coming back to you. I know this sounds really harsh, but this woman is NOT worth the time of day, I am sure you will find someone else real soon. Dont be too quick in getting involved in a relationship take time to really get to know the person. I will work out ok in the end..Good Luck!
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